Dedicated to all the testers

Forgiving or punishing
the terrorists
is left to God.
But,
fixing their appointment
with God
is our responsibility
- Indian Army

Updated statement for this…
In S/w industry

Forgiving or punishing
the Developer
is left to Manager.
But,
fixing their appointment
with Manager
is our responsibility
- Tester

Missing ma College Dayz!!!

I don't know why,
But today I am missing my College Days... :(

Orkut ne kiya parda faash!!!

Hi Friends,

I am back after a long (yeah real long) time. I don’t want to give any excuses (/ valid reasons) but yeah I have felt that “With great power comes great responsibility”.

Anyway for the title of this post I would like to thank Aaaj Tak / Start News / other news channel. These days I can watch only “Vaardaat” type of episodes (crime reports) in TV because when I go back to my room, only thing I can watch on TV is these late night crime reports on news channels or late night shows (nahi mai uski baat nahi kar raha…) thanks to the new project.

Some time I wonder, ye reporter to koi jail se bhaga hua kaidi to nahi!!!!
The way they speak, “Chain se sona hai to jaag jaoo”, “Shakal se maasum dikhne wala ye shaksh kahi bhi ho sakta hai, aapke bagal mai bhi”, “Bhai bana bhai ka katil”, “Delhi Police ne kiya parda faash”, is much more threatening. When they use special effect and computer generated videos to show some crime reports it looks so stupid.

Guys pardon me for the language of this. Actually I tried writing in English but wo baat nahi bani. So “Swalpa Adjust MAADI” (do adjust a bit - in Kanadda)

Aaj hum dikhane wale hai ki kis tarah se Orkut ne kiya parda faash, aur benakab kiya un logo ko. Hamare crime reporter Dhaval Patel ki ye sansani bhari special report “Orkut ne kiya parda faash!!!”

Dhaval : Ji ha dosto, mai dikhane wala hu ki kis tarah se shakal se dikhte bole bhale logo ke andar ek shaitan chhupa hua hota hai. Social network ka zansa de kar ye log apni kali kartut chhupana chahte hai... Jana mane Orkut ne kiya aise kahi logo ka parda faashh. Ye kuchh scarps hai jo muje acchi photo wali ladkio ki Orkut profiles se mile hai.

(1)
hiiiii plz help me out....
waNNA MAKE FRIENDSHIP WID UUUUU.....
PLZ DO ME FAVOUR........
UR SMILING IS SOOOOOOO NICE.BA BYEEEEE
[Naubat yaha bheekh maangne tak ki aa gai hai… Magar ladki ka dil bilkul nahi peegla aur ladki ne ladke ko help karne se inkaar kar diya...]

(2)
hii there of course i dont know you ...
m new to orkut and m trying to make some new frds and just wrote to you asking you to become one of my new frds....
so if u dont mind can we be frds....
[abe sale maaan na maaan mai tera mahemaan, janta nahi to kyo aaya yaha pe…
And naye dost kyo chahiye… purane dosto ne baga diya kya… n bade aaye don’t mind wale… mind kar liya to???]

(3)
Hi, heard u r very gud friend with the people around u so if intersted 2 make me a friend do reply soon byeeeeeeeee
[nope tumne jo bhi suna hai wo sab galat hai and I am not interested in new friends :@]

(4)
hiii...BETA.how r u
this is ALPHA here
can we F.R.I.E.N.D.S
waiting for ur reply
[Name(s) changed
Bhai ye hit serial ka naam likhne se kuchh nahi hota
Keep waiting]

(5)
hello
hi
u luk gorgeous
wanna be my frnd
[Ha pata hai mai gorgeous lagti hu… tabhi to sale message kiya hai…
Apni original photo lagai yoti to ye friend request nahi bhejta…]

(6)
hey BETA....i hv gon thru ur profile ...
nw i just wanna b ur frnd
[kisne bola ki profile so go through karne se friends ban jaate hai!!!!]

(7)
hi BETA
how are you???
...can we start exchanging mesgs now???
...it has been long time capturing a little space in each other's friend lists...
...i just felt...i should break the silence...to start with...
...what do you say???
[You are asking me now and you have already started exchanging messages…
Little space, break the silence !!! ye sab kya hai…. Grrrrr ]

(8)
you are looking so sweet in your album...
[I look sweet in album only... Real life mai koi chudel se kam nahi hu...
ab banega friend????]

(9)
hi BETA wanna be friends? u look damn hot yaar.
[but you are not looking hot… don’t want to be ur friend]

(10)
hi BETA,
i like to creat new friends!
can u join me as friend?
[but I don’t like to CREATE new friend
BTW ye new friends create kaise hote hai…]

(11)
i also live in pune if you wanna meet me just call me on my cell 98989 89898
you seriously look so beautiful i will definatly like to meet you.
[Bande ki tadap dekho, phone number bhi de diya… are bhai so what you are from Pune… there are many more… and each one of them also likes to meet me…]

(12)
BBBBBEEEEETTTTAAAAAAAAAA ur name is too hot to pronounce.
[Jal nahi gaya kya?
bada aaya... ur name is too hot wala...
pahle kabhi ye naam suna nahi hai kya???]

(13)
hey yaar..
we were supposed to meet na..
forgot dear??
scrap me sweet!!!!!!
[ye bandi scrap nahi karti aur bande ne to milne ke bhi khwab bana diye.. kuchh nahi ho sakta bhai tera to]

(14)
ABC@XYZ.com .......... my mail n messenger id....... scrap bk or mail or msg......... wanna b frenz ??????
[pahle hi email id de diya… ha muft ka jo banaya hai account…
Waise banda dekha kitna adjusting hai…
Scrap / mail / messenger / … kuchh bhi chalega]

(15)
HI i am Girl trapped in male body ....can we chat?
[:O:O:O!!!!! Chhii]

(16)
aila!!!!!!!!
what a profile intro.....
i am impressed!!!!!!!!!!!!
[Abe profile to hoti hi hai impress karne ke liye..
Ab sachhai bhi jaan na chahega???]

(17)
kai baisaheb amchya scrap baddal kahich ka vatat nahi aplyala?
Nasel scrap pathvayacha tumhala tar tasa sanga na friendcha kantala ala ahe kinwa amchyashi bolayala avadat nahi tumhala.
ugich garibachi tingle karata rao ani scrap chi maja pahata fakta!
[Can’t translate it totally – Its written in Marathi. But point to be noted here is “Ppl are taking help of different languages also”
konacha hi kahi fayada nahi (kisi ka kuchh fayda nahi)]

(18)
hi BETA
can i call u BET?
i like u r name
hey too sexy snap ha
[Bhaiya naam chhota kar ke bulane se ladki pat jaati to aat tak ladkiyo ke naam bachte hi nah… har koi A B C D mai baat karta hota…]

(19)
Hii wanna be close to me tell me somthin abt u
R u interested in dating wanna meet me
[Andhere mai teer pe teer maarte raho… kahi to kuchh to hoga…]

(20)
hi dear how are u? let meet or chat sometime. add my id to ur gmail.
when are u online?
can we meet soon?
can i knw a bit more abt u...frends???
[Oye gattu thand rakh yaar..
Ek scrap ka reply to aane de…
First time mai hi friend / chat / meeting request sabkuchh!!!]

To dekha aapne ki log kis had tak gir sakte hai,
ek ladki ka scrap pane ke liye… "Sirf ek Scrap"

aap bhi savdhar rahe…

aise log kahi bhi ho sakte hai…
aapke next cubicle mai ya
aapke next room mai ya
aapke bagal wale flat mai….
Yaad rahe “Chain se sona hai to jaag jao”


I think I should cut my crap here only(u can’t expect anything else in Blog-Full-Of-Crap right???)

But one thing is sure... these guys has changed the definition of Friends and Friendship.

Anyways... Wishing you Happy Friendship day
Njoy!!!

~Dh@v@!

White Board

Naah!!!! I am not going to tell you which white board to buy and what should be the dimensions for it, etc... Neither am I doing marketing for any of the white board manufacturing companies. Actually today I was bit free and by mistake I looked at the white board in my cube with a different angle. Normally I use my WB for maintaining To-Do list, for noting down extension numbers, as a reminder, for Money matters, etc…

But you must have heard this famous line “Khali dimaag shaitan ka Ghar”(Means : Blank mind a house of devil). I thought of looking at others’ WBs. I went to some cubicles around me and here is what got …

Company provides White Board (WB) to reduce paper wastage, but have a look at the following pics and see what you can do with your WB.


Blank WB

Wah kya safai huyi hai!!! Must be a Surf Excel user:)

Look at this WB - Batra’s creation (are na re baba… Dr. Batra nahi re… ye apne Ashutosh Batra)
Man too much “Chamia Doggy”!!!

You can imagine the situation in IT industry. That is why we should have equal number of male and female in office.

I know you must be thinking, "Guys will be guys" Right??? :):):)

Ye dekho… Mr. Romeo’s WB

In school / college people use to write their GF/BF’s name on the bench and now on the white board… Common guys, grow up now!!!

Next we have, my favorite "Da Confused Soul" [Unknown : Just clicked it, when the cube was empty]

Dunia to gol hai… Magar yaha to sab kuch gol hai…

Okay now this must be of some artist’s WB [yeah it’s Ajesh’s WB]

Sarkar by Ajesh

The Dream Girl

The Ash love

Yar I think you are in the wrong profession. You should not waste your time in IT industry…

Here comes, my WB "before" and "after" I went to Tirupati

" Before"

"After"

Have you seen this pic somewhere? Where!!!

Next, C&H lover… [Banani]

She has converted the WB into a C&B poster. But it's a good one, must read.

Another Calvin lover [Mohan]

I think everybody is painter here. Huh…. Sometimes I wonder what these people are doing in IT field.

Here comes the real Techi [Miss Rekha Rao]


Great… At least somebody is working…

Another time pass WB


Finally that Chamia doggy has got some partner… ;) ;)

Anyway that’s it for today… I will continue posting my crap…
Njoy!!!

U have been Tagged

Sorry, please don’t blame me. It’s a new kind of chain on net. No not like chain mails, forward this to 5 people otherwise something bad will happen to you. Let me explain you. I got a message from Anu telling that you have been tagged. She was tagged by some of her friends. So now I am tagging you (yes you, my dear reader).

Ya hold on I m telling you what do I mean by tagging you. You need to write all weird things about yourself the way I have written here. Somehow I found this chain interesting and would like to continue it. So remember I have tagged you, Yeah can’t write everybody’s name (and don’t want to miss such opportunity also). After all this is a rare chance for you to show your weirdness.

Here goes my nomination for “DA WEIRDO” competition

1. The very first weird thing. I always use dictionary for writing weird. I have used this word for a million times but still I get confused between weird and wired. (In both the cases MS Office dictionary doesn’t show red underline, so it’s not a my fault)

2. My driving speed is directly proportional to Road Traffic. I generally drive relatively fast on heavy traffic road and comparatively very slow on empty roads. In both the cases my pillion rider shouts… Tell me what should I do?

3. I can’t talk more than 15 consecutive minutes over phone. I wonder how people can talk hours and hours together!!! I can’t talk like those love birds. “Tell me you love me”, “What did you do today?”, “Had your lunch?”, “Had your dinner?”, “Why didn’t you call me this morning?”…. My Gosh!!! Because of my undeveloped mind (or whatever) I can’t understand how can people do that?

4. Fully day I can sit in front of the stupid box. (I am talking about TV here). But I can’t spend more than an hour with a TYPICAL Gal. (Ya typical is the word to be noted here… you know the definition of typical gal right?). Very simple reason in former case I have the remote control, I can switch it off or swap the channel but stopping gal is a real tough job for me.

5. When I watch TV, around 80% of my time goes in swapping the channels. Sometimes I only watch Ads.

6. I hate changing cloths every now and then. You can call it’s my laziness also – Now you know the only reason behind not selecting Modeling as my career option.

7. Movies – Believe me guys I can tolerate any movie. Whenever somebody asks me, hey Dhaval how was the movie? My typical answer “ya okay types, can see it once” (Though it is rated 0.5 out of 5). I can find, at least something, interesting in any movie. I have seen movies like “Jani Dushman”, “Chhote sarkar”, etc… Last Sunday only I saw “Mohabbatein” 4th time (thanks to MAX)

8. Songs – I like all weird songs, all flop songs. I like all those cheap songs (not only that type of songs, I do like some good songs also. I like all sad songs, all boring songs, all slow song, all fast songs… I like any type of songs, any language…

9. I do get inspired by Motivating songs like “Lakshya – Ha yahi sapna hai tera”, “Corporate - Oh sikandar, oh sikandar”, “Buz Luhrmann - Everybody is free” (Though the effect lasts for a very short span of time, that is a different story all together)

10. I still like BSB, Boyzone and Britney Spears songs. I know they are considered as teenagers’ songs, all that chocolaty songs, but I love them.

11. Another tragedy of my life. I have lots of female friends but I don’t have a single Girlfriend (Imagine not even once in my 23 years, i.e. 23*365 days = 23*365*24 hours, huh such a long time – Okay now, no need to use your brain, I am straight only)

12. Plz don’t laugh, but I prefer milk with Bournvita (or any chocolate flavored powder) over Tea or Coffee. Tea I have hardly had in my life and coffee also when I don’t have anything else to have.

13. When it comes to Biscuit I still prefer Parle G and not the Parle Hide n Sick. Yeah I prefer plain glucose biscuits over cream / chocolate / nut biscuits.

14. I hardly take Cold Drinks. I prefer mango / orange flavored drink than regular cola flavored drink

15. On weekends I prefer sleeping in my room than going to Café Coffee Day. Plz there is only one weekend in a week right?

16. I like games where I need minimum energy. I like computer games, I like video games (Contra and Mario my all time favorite games), I like Pool over Badminton or swimming.

17. I generally keep quiet with my good friends and expect them to understand everything without saying anything. I am a great listener (according to my friends), I can keep on listening anybody but can’t talk more than 15 minutes.

18. Train journey - I prefer Sleeper Coach and not the 2-tier AC, after all you can’t get those chatwala and fruitwala and samosawala and all in AC coach right?

19. Every time I go to the library I issue some books and without reading them I return them on time and issue some more books. It’s a vicious circle and like the ring it never stops. Unfortunately I had a great library in my school / also in my college and now in Infy also….

20. I can’t write a single post with out Microsoft-office-built-in-dictionary. Typo error is just the other name of Dhaval

21. Eating – When it comes to eating, I don’t have any control over it… I think it is the most beautiful thing to do, followed by a nice sleep :).

22. I can’t be serious in my time. Believe me guys I have tried a lot but every time I failed miserably. I really want to be serious over this “not being serious” nature.

23. Like every other guy, I also think that I m an unlucky chap. I am a total mess and confused to the core, I mean it.

Better I stop here now… Believe me guys I am not that weird also. Common now, almost everyone around me considers ME as a pretty normal guy (I don’t know, what will be their reaction after reading this post).

Phewwwww… Yuck... Chheeee… Thhuu…. This is what you are thinking right?
I know that… I know I am the weirdest guy on this earth… But just can’t help it…

Anyways, it’s your turn now :):):)

Show your weirdness by giving comments or by posting your list on you blog. Remember you have been tagged. Let’s continue the weird chain. :):):)

Is it fair?

Few days back I was watching a show on NDTV and I came to know about this issue. Let me share it with you.

Garima Devi, a girl from poor family, has scored 97.6% in board exams (10th Standard, CBSC). Just like other students she also had a dream of getting admission in DPS (Delhi Public School), a top notch school of India. But she was simply rejected, reason: “lack of fluency in English”. The point to be noted here is, the interview was in English only. I too agree that her English is not up to the mark, but is it fair? Rejecting the admission request just because of this reason!!!!

I agree that English is must for in this competitive world. I am not denying the fact that India has earned the global image because of her 3rd largest English speaking population, after USA and UK. But does it mean that we should consider only English speaking people for better opportunities? Shouldn’t we give a chance of improvement to others? Shouldn’t we create a good learning environment for such people? Have you ever thought; if we will keep on giving a special treatment to English speaking people what will happen to majority of the Indian students (yes we have hardly 33% English Medium schools in India)?

This is not about only one Garima or only about DPS. Thousands of people are not getting deserved opportunities just because of their “not so good” English. You can observe that if you want. Go to any of the Café coffee day counter, or Barista, or any pizza counter, or leading restaurant or any multiplex, you will find people talking in English only. Because “it is in”. If you don’t know English you are considered as a backward guy. Non-English speaking people are considered as “Desi” at such places. The question I want to ask here is “Why is so?”, “Do English-speaking-people have some extra brain?”, “If a person is good at analytic skills and managing tings but (s)he is not good at English, does it mean that (s)he is not intelligent and (s)he has no rights to dream about good school/college/job? ”

Coming back to Garima, she already has got her admission in some other school. She is not happy with DPS and wants to achieve betters marks in 12th Standard than any of the DPS students and show them that she has the real caliber and English is not everything. During the show itself principal of IPS (Indian Public School), Dehradun called in NDTV stidio and he was offered admission in two years residential course with full scholarship, but she couldn’t accept it as she has already taken admission in some other school. I think DPS must think over their decision.

Any way Garima, let me congratulate you for your mind blowing result and all the best for your future. May god bless you!!!

Naryans

This post is dedicated to “Naryans”.
You must be wondering what the hell this Naryans is. Right?

Well well well… That’s my college group. One day we decided to give some name to our group. Some one came up with “ARYANS” but as you know Bollywood has used it a million times (seriously guys bollywood has got very limited database… Raj, Pooja, Prem, Kkkiran, Aryans), so we decided to come up with some fundu name… but we all are zero at creativity… it was like asking some Haryanvi Jaat to write an essay of 100 words in English without any errors. We simply added “N” (for Nirma, my college) before ARYANS and we came up with a group name “NARYANS”. Like people use to register a name for their company we got our group name registered in yahoo groups and done… we got our identity… But this was in 6th semester.

Let me tell you the story of the great group.

Squad:

00IT002 - Nirmal Bharadia
AKA – Bapu
Currently at – (SE) TCS, Ahmedabad

00IT007-Abhishek Dalal
AKA – Abhi
Currently at – (SE) TCS, Ahmedabad

00IT008-Hiral Desai
AKA – Kalu
Currently at – Sydney, Australia, Pursuing Master degree and part time job

00IT013-Mahesh Donga
AKA – Donga
Currently at – (SE) TCS, Ahmedabad

00IT023-Vishal Khanama
AKA - Japke
Currently at – Baroda, Gujarat, Managing the study pressure at MS University for MBA

00IT027-Palak Limbachiya
AKA - PC
Currently at – (SE) Infosys, Pune (Working as a SAP consultant)

00IT038-Don Hiral Modi
AKA Dallo
Currently at – (SE) LnT Infotech, Mumbai (Going to US for an onsite assignment tomorrow)

00IT040-Don Naman Modi
AKA – Modi, Tondu
Currently at – California, USA, part time M.Tech full time Job – Thanks to Green Card ;)

00IT052-Jigar Parmar
AKA – Dahod, Fendo
Currently at – (SE) Satyam, Hyderabad

00IT054-Denish Patel
AKA – DJ, Doho
Currently at – Maryland, USA, Full time job

00IT055-Dhaval Patel
AKA – Patel, Dhems, Google
Currently at – (SE) Infosys, Mysore

00IT056-Dipesh Patel
AKA - Surti
Currently at – United Kingdom, Pursuing Doctorate Degree (Man now I doubt about the credibility of HPD degree)

00IT061-Kartik Patel
AKA – Andho (The Blind man)
Currently at – (SE) LehMan Brother, Mumbai

Pahchan Kon???

The way we all met:

This is the most interesting part of the story. In the first year we all were strangers. I knew only PC and DJ cuz there were my schoolmates. In some initial days Naman Modi and Hiral Modi (AKA Modi Brothers) became very famous because of their notorious nature and their pranks. They grabbed my attention (physics is proved wrong here, electron is not attracted by proton, it’s proton that attracts proton, in college you always look for your kind for guys/gals right?). One fine day I was caught by my teacher n she asked me to leave the class. As usual being happy to get such a wonderful opportunity (yeah spending one hour in canteen or Nirma’s lawn is much better than listening to some faculty in class) I moved out of the class without thinking anything. I met Naman outside the class and we both started blaming education system, Nirma rules n what not. So this was our first step towards the friendship. Naturally along with him I came to know about Hiral Modi and also PC n DJ got introduced with those guys. Dahod also became notorious and he also came in to our group. I, DJ, Surti n Andho were in same lab group so we also got to know about each other. In every class we used to go late and from every lab we used to move out early (In a lab of 2 hours we used to come before 1 hour). As every illegal work needs some support, we started going around together. Kalu, Japke, Bapu, Donga and Abhi got introduced by PC n Modi brothers cuz where were in their lab group so they also joined the group. Aakhir masti kisi achhi nahi lagti…
Meanwhile we got result of our first internal exam. We all got unbelievable marks, yah more than 85%. (For the first and the last time in college). We became very popular in our batch. Most wanted, Black list, whatever you call it… In 3rd semester we crossed all the limits. We literally started dadagiri against lecturers. Throwing arrows and sleeping in the lecture was very common we started playing cards also. And that reflected in our results also… After getting around 90% in first internal n around 80% in 1st year university we got just around 65% in 3rd sem. But we recovered it anyhow and finally got a decent average of 4 year marks.

Bombay & Diu Trip:

In the 3rd semester we went to IIT Mumbai. It was supposed to be an academic tour but it turned out to be one of the most memorable trips in my life. It served a purpose of a power buster in our Friendship. We hardly spent 3 hours in IIT out of 3 days academic trip; instead we went to “Essel World”, “Juhu Beach”, “Chopati” n “some dance bars”. It was a great time. Somebody gave alcohol mixed cold drink to DJ and he got all angry but it was a good prank. Usko laga ki uska dharam bhrasht ho gaya. One funny incident I would like to quote here, while traveling by local trains in Mumbai, by mistake some of us board on the 1st class coach and the TT asked for the tickets. I happily gave tickets to him and then he asked me to look at the coach once again. It was 1st class coach. He took us to his cabin and started demanding for the fine. Somehow we managed a small under-the-table treat and left his cabin. We did a hell lot of the things in Mumbai some of which I can’t write here. ;);)

But happiness doesn’t come alone, Right? On one side we were in a process of making a great group, something went wrong in a card game and a question mark was raised on the Modi Brothers’ strong one year friendship, which was finally settled down in the 7th semester (uff such a long time). Nothing but a wall of ego was there in between them which was finally destroyed and the following picture is the proof their compromise. As they say “Friendship gets much stronger after one breakup” once again they became good friends.

We had another great trip, which was to Diu (one of the most beautiful beaches in India). Let me quote some of the funny incidents of that trip.

• Naman Modi got full drunk and felt off from the auto
• Once again cuz of Nama Modi’s drunken state he started blasting a foreigner child on a private resort beach
• Kalu was out of control and started blabbering. “Since I was” [He still denies the fact that he was drunk that time]
• Because of sleepless overnight journey (ya this was the only reason) I was feeling so sleepy on the first day of diu trip and I still don’t remember when did I open door of my hotel room for DJ. I am not even sure where I did that but DJ only told me that I am the one who opened that door for him after knocking for 15 minutes so I have to believe it.
• The foreigner–one guy–n police incident at the beach
• The Beach Volley Ball n many more…

Midnight Chillouts:

Some of us are from Ahmedabad so didn’t have full independence in our college time but rest of us used to stay in apartments. We have enjoyed many night outs at Bapu’s place, Kalu’s place and at Surti’s place.
Ghar se bol ke jate the “MOM project ka bahut kaam hai aaj to puri raat beth ke khatam karna padega… ya fir MOM group study karni hai”.
N then full time masti… I can’t forget those late night movies, full night comp games (We used to break n set new records of the computer games), indoor cricket… Let me tell you this. Surti’s flat was on the 10th floor and luckily 2 beautiful chicks were staying on the 9th floor in front of his balcony. So obviously Balcony became the best place in his house, we literally used to fight for standing there. Guys remember those balcony scandals? Hahaaha it was real fun. I am really missing those midnight Bun-Butter, Tea, Soda and all time pass stuff. Dahod remember that night, we were all hungry and at 3 in the morning we went to “Bombay pav bhaji” and requested those guys to give some food they were having….

The Punch Game:

We use to play this funny game. Whenever we find somebody sitting quietly, showing the back, we used to punch him like anything… Modi, Bapu, Kalu, PC and Surti were the all time hit players of the game.
(In da pic… Bapu and Kalu hitting Surti)

Weird!!! Isn’t it?

Placement & Farewell Time:

Final year of engineering, campus recruitment was started in the college and we came to know that we will have to depart after some time…

But we really missed our farewell party… if any of our juniors is reading this post then let me tell you “You are the worst juniors in the world”. Can’t throw a farewell party!!!!! Huh

Anyway coming back to placement scenario, some of us got job in the initial phase itself and some of us couldn’t make it till the end. The tension was in the air. We all were worried. We also had the same question in our mind.
“What will happen to us?”, “Who will go to where”, “Will we keep in touch?” etcBut as everybody in the world faces that phase of time, so we also faced it. Today we all are so scattered, we are a thousand mile away but still it’s just a mail away. Thanks to Outlook (yeah I can’t pass a single day in office without it), Yahoo, Orkut (my all time favorite Google), n internet… we still exchange lots of mails everyday…

Here come the Gentlemen

I would like to end this post (yeah this time it’s not crap for a change) by this sher…

Vishwas ki ek dori hai dosti,
Betab dil ki majburi hai dosti.
Na mano to
kuch bhi nahi,Aur mano to KHUDA ki bhi kamzori hai dost.

Pine walo ko pine ka bahana chahiye…

If you are looking for some real good stuff then let me tell you friend, this is not the place for it. Click on the X (top right corner) and read some good blogs or articles or rather watch TV. Don’t blame me afterwards, remember you have been warned!!!!

Okay let me start my crap now….

As usual last weekend also we had a party (no need to tell it was a “daru party”). [Daru means Alcohol]. A picture can speak a thousand words… right?

It is strange that being only a coke drinker some how I enjoy daru parties, just because of the kind of discussion we have. We started our party somewhere around 8.30 pm and this time around we were discussing liquors, dope, hukka and stuff. We discussed about Vodka, Rum, Tequila, Dragon Shot, Submarine Shot, Chocolate with Cigarette, Sweets with drinks and some weird combos. Moving on to Charas, Ganja, Afeem, LSD, etc… but suddenly our discussion took a serious turn and we started discussing about friends, life, relations, and more serious topics. By the time we finished the discussion it was already 3.15 am. You should watch people discussing after 5 pegs down.

But bottom line is, “Pine walo ko pine ka bahana chahiye…” [They need some reason to drink]

I have a list of reasons given by my friends

• Not in the mood today
• I am in the party mood today
• People around are enjoying in party
• Feeling lonely today
• Have got some friends today
• Today is the Friday / Saturday / Sunday (or any other day)
• She spoke to me today
• She didn’t speak to me today
• I am happy today
• I am sad today
• I am missing my BF / GF / Friends / Bro / Sis / who-so-ever
• My wife has gone to her place
• My wife is coming next week
• My friend is going somewhere
• My friend has arrived
• I am not drinking, it’s just a beer.
• I have to improve my capacity so let me drink
• I am feeling tired today
• We won the match today
• We lost it
• I am going through the tension these days
• I have been drinking for last 10 days, now let me continue and make a new record
• I am getting it for free
• I got a promotion
• I didn’t get a promotion
• And the most frequently used reason, I am drinking for nothing “I mean just like that”
  

By the way I would like to thank Tau (aka Anuj Mahajan) for enhancing my knowledge about different types of drinks. Also I would like to thank him for giving valuable inputs and making my post more readable. You know guys my English sucks big time…

Look at this guy, my winamp has got artificial intelligence. It is playing
“Nasha sharab mai hota to naachti bottle.”

Let me cut my crap by great quote

“Reality is an illusion caused due to lack of alcohol - Johnny Walker”

Everybody is free

“Depression” – The root of all the problems.

These days I have observed a wave of depression everywhere…

This post is dedicated to all the people out there, who are suffering from depression,
Who don’t know what to do?
Where to go?
What is good n what is bad?

Guys, I use to listen to this song when ever I am down, when ever I feel sad or confused and believe me it has helped me a lot. It’s one of my all time hits, so I would like to share this song with you all.

-----------------------------------------------

Lyrics to "Everybody is free to wear sunscreen"
by Baz Luhrman


Ladies and Gentlemen of the class of '97,

Wear sunscreen. If I could offer you only one tip for the future, sunscreen would be it. The long term benefits of sunscreen have been proved by scientists, whereas the rest of my advice has no basis or reliable then my own meandering experience. I will dispense this advice....now.

Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth. Oh, never mind, you won't understand the power and beauty of your youth until they've faded, but trust me in 20 years, you'll look back at photos of yourself and recall in a way you can't grasp now how much possibility lay before you and how fabulous you really looked. You are not as fat as you imagine.

Don't worry about the future, or worry, but know that worrying is as effective as trying to solve an algebra equation by chewing bubblegum.

The real troubles in your life are apt to be things that never crossed your worried mind: the kind that blindsides you at 4pm on some idle Tuesday.

Do one thing every day that scares you.

Sing.

Don't be reckless with other people's hearts; don't put up with people who are reckless with yours.

Floss.

Don't waste your time on jealousy. Sometimes you're ahead, sometimes you're behind. The race is long, and in the end, it's only with yourself.

Remember compliments you receive; forget the insults. (if you succeed in doing this, tell me how).

Keep your old love letters; throw away your old bank statements.

Stretch.

Don't feel guilty if you don't know what you want to do with your life. The most interesting people I know didn't know at 22 what they wanted to do with their lives; some of the most interesting 40 year olds I know still don't.

Get plenty of Calcium. Be kind to your knees -- you'll miss them when they're gone.

Maybe you'll marry, maybe you won't. Maybe you'll have children, maybe you won't. Maybe you'll divorce at 40; maybe you'll dance the funky chicken on your 75th wedding anniversary.

Whatever you do, don't congratulate yourself too much or berate yourself, either. Your choices are half chance, so are everybody else's.

Enjoy your body: use it every way you can. Don't be afraid of it or what other people think of it; it's the greatest instrument you'll ever own.

Dance...even if you have no where to do it but in your own living room.

Read the directions (even if you don't follow them).

Do not read beauty magazines; they will only make you feel ugly.

Get to know your parents; you never know when they'll be gone for good.

Be nice to your siblings: they're your best link to your past and the people most likely to stick with you in the future.

Understand that friends come and go, but what a precious few should hold on. Work hard to bridge the gaps and geography and lifestyle, because the older you get, the more you need the people you knew when you were young.

Live in New York City once, but leave before it makes you hard.

Live in Northern California once, but leave before it makes you soft.

Travel.

Accept certain inalienable truths: prices will rise, politicians will philander, you too will get old; and when you do, you'll fantasize that when you were young, prices were reasonable, politicians were noble, and children respected their elders.

Respect your elders.

Don't expect anyone else to support you. Maybe you have a trust fund, maybe you'll have a wealthy spouse, but you never know when either one might run out.

Don't mess too much with your hair or by the time you are 40, it will look 85.

Be careful whose advice you buy, but be patient with those who supply it. Advice is a form of nostalgia; dispensing it is a way of wishing the past from the disposal--wiping it off, painting over the ugly parts, and recycling it for more than it's worth.

But trust me, I'm the sunscreen.



PS : mp3 will be provided on demand. ;)

I am against RESERVATION

I am not going to write anything about reservation issue because there are more than 700 blogs for that. Each of them is telling the same thing “I am against Reservation”. Have a look at these pics and respects those who are fighting for it.

Practice Questioning…

We can say many things without words…

They will try to suppress your voice…

They will try to crush your spirit……

They will give you pain…….


They will torture you……

They will inflict sufferings…

They are the brutal organized force…

They will fire…

Never succumb to pressure...
Are we living in Democracy???

Never sayDIE…

EQUALITY is our BIRTH RIGHT

I salute you guys…

Is it worthwhile?

This is in continuation with the post “We the techies”.

I am feeling damn sleepy. Time right now is 3:32 AM. My winamp is playing “Can’t stop this thing we started - Bryan Adams”. You must be wondering what the hell I am doing at this time. So for knowledge sakes, I am sitting in my cube to provide production support to my client (Only God knows who is going support to whom).

Have a look at the photo… (Taken during production support night)

Myself & Gupta… Giving production support… (u can make out which kinda support it is)

Ye pagla lamp khane ki try kar raha hai… yeah that’s me

I better cut the crap and start with my topic.

You must have heard things like "Life means change" and "Only change is constant", but has anybody ever thought whether changing or the change itself is really worth it?

Let’s talk about IT sector. Ancient India was famous for its leather, spices, diamonds and all, and now, after a long time Brand India is emerging, thanks to IT, and thanks to out sourcing. There is no doubt that I am doing a job which I wouldn’t even have thought some 20 years back. Most of us have a better job than our parents’, better in terms of salary, infrastructure and the so called high standard of living. Everything is so tempting, everything looks so promising. Day after day we are moving from one company to another, running after a higher salary. But aren’t we living in a material world? Aren’t we becoming material boys & girls? Everyday we are thinking of a new project, a new assignment, a new job, a new company, a new (b/g) friend, etc… But how much time are we spending on our personal life?

According to THE WEEK’s survey on workaholics “Every fourth employed Indian works more than 16 hours a day and ends the day feeling frustrated. Most of them agree that their life revolves around their work, but it’s ok if the money is good. Whether the family is happy or not with the job is not a major concern for them”

Is there any difference between a human being and a computer (rather a machine)? I would like to ask you one question here. Tell me, how much time do you spend on things that matter to you most? Do you ever talk to yourself?

According to another survey, “Every third workaholic is getting more quick-tempered and physically sicker than before”

I would like to pose a few more questions to you here.
* Do you have back / neck ailments?
* Have you been bogged down by depression / fatigue?
* Have you faced a problem of disturbed sleep / poor immunity?
* How about loss of relationships and emotional collapse?
* Do you remember when you went for a walk with your friend last time?
* How may times have you seen the sunrise / sunset during the last month?

“You have to be FLEXIBLE”, is probably the first eligibility criteria for taking up a job in the IT industry. Yeah that is a selection mantra allrite. “Are you flexible in terms of work (technology and working hours)? Are you flexible in terms of geographic location? If your answer is right you are my guy, come join us”. But we are human beings right? Aren’t they comparing us with the NextGen robots? Do we have emotions? Do we need friends and family? Now you might say, what rubbish, who is stopping you to make friends? But no boss, it’s not so easy to make and “maintain” friends. You leave your near n dear ones or they leave you on the pretext of career and / or work being more important. You always need to be ready for a short term transfer and that too on a minimal notice time. They may ask you to move to some city in India or overseas in 4-5 days. Can you wind up everything in such a short span of time? Tangibles are fine but how can you wind up your emotions, your attachment to the place and its people, how can you wind up your relations? Thinking, “Why can’t I maintain my friendship even when I am away?” Yes I can. But “Proximity does matter”. Because of your professional / personal obligations the frequency of talking reduces (even if you don’t want it to happen) and that makes a difference.

As I remember it, October 17, 2004, the day I came to Mysore for the first time. None of my school or college friends were here with me. I made some new friends during my training. Outta them, only 4 (Me, Batra, Banani, and Kakkar) got posted to Mysore. Others got posted elsewhere. Thus once again began the quest for new friends and I got some good pals too. Let me write their names. Buddy (alias Nabamita), TCK (alias Vignesh), Bisht (alias Dinesh), KG (alias Kamal), Tau, Raju (alias Peeyush) and Chhotu. They all are very good people to be friends with, each one being a class apart from the other but in a class of his own. But that does not mean that I don’t miss my old friends. Life is never that simple. Sometime later KG, Bisht, TCK and Buddy went to US for onsite assignments. KG is back now but others are still there. How can I forget the time we spent together? We are still in touch but can’t spend time together right? I made some good friends in of my previous projects too– Rocky (alias Rakesh), G (alias Anita), Mr. Setty, Sheru (alias Chetanya), Akhilesh, n more. But again none of them is here. Some of them went to onsite and some of them got transferred. That was not the end of it; Raju got posted to Pune, Banani went to Hyderabad, last week Chhotu got transferred to Mangalore and now Tau and gupta are also expecting some onsite assignments. I know I haven’t told anyone of you how much you mean to me. I am not saying that I can’t live without somebody but it hurts… When your friends go away it hurts…. I am really bad at this, but believe me guys (ya gals also….) you all (literally all) mean a lot to me. I am sure every one of you would be having your own Buddy, your own Tau, your own Raju, your own Chhotu, your own Batra and your own gang. You might also be feeling the same way as I do. But is all this really worth it?

I have observed a whole lotta changes in myself in the past 2 years. I have met herds of different people and I have been close with some of them. But only few of them are with me today. God knows if we will meet again. It’s really frustrating, and at times I feel tired of all such changes. I don’t want to loose my friends anymore. I am tired of being formal, saying sorry and thanking you with the least bit of emotion involved. I am tired of having endless cups of coffee. I am tired of getting all senti listening to the song “Chitthi aayi hai” from the movie Naam (Listen to it once, I find it too senti esp the lines
Tune paisa bahut kamaya, Is paise ne des chhudaya
Des paraya chhod ke aaja, Panchhi pinjra tod ke aaja
Aaja umar bahut hai chhoti, Apne ghar me bhi hai roti.)

I know I might be sounding like a loser here. Another song that would potray my feelings at this juncture would be

Everything's so blurry
and everyone's so fake
and everybody's empty
and everything is so messed up
pre-occupied without you
(From: "Blurry" - PUDDLE OF MUDD)

I don’t want you to end up all senti after reading this. This is solely a self introspection that I have done.

Don’t worry guys; you won’t more posts like this too often. Next post will be full of fun, but this time you have to bear with me.

I agree there are many ways to think about all this differently and feel good about everything but tell me frankly IS IT REALLY WORTHWHILE?

B’day

Yeah, yeah yeah it was my b’day yesterday. The very first of May.
Labor Day, May Day, Workers’ Day, Gujarat Day, Maharastra Day, call it what u want but it was Dhaval’s B’day also. 23 years ago (seems like a long time), God must have seen happy people on the earth and must have thought of having a devil among them, to have them run amuck and probably then did I come into this world.

Anyways, enough of the evolution part, this blog is not for evolution of my holy self but for what my birthday was all about. It was a long weekend, 3 days, kinda mini vacation and as expected everybody around was planning to go here or there on a trip and relax their soul, body and mind. I also wanted to go somewhere but because of some one reason or the other I went nowhere… So my long weekend started with loneliness and I started talking to myself.

You know ….
“Lately I’ve been walking, walking in circles,
Watching, waiting for something
Feel me, Touch me, Heal me, Come take me higher.“
Nahi nahi ye maine nahi likha… ye to angrezi gana sun raha tha. Rasmus ka In The Shadows, to udhar se chepa hai… tum bhi kya yaar…

Somehow I spent the whole of Saturday … and now it was Sunday, I was waiting for midnight and at the same time getting nostalgic remembering my last b’day, going for what you make call a trip down memory lane. Last year Banani, Buddy (alias Nabamita), JKG (alias Jeevan), Raju (alias Peeyush), Batra (alias Ashutosh) and Tau (alias Anuj) gave me a gr8 surprise, one I probably would never forget. The surroundings were not so familiar that time and nor were they this time. I had just moved to a delivery unit and made just a few new aquaintainces, but they all pooled in too well for what I expected. This time again, things had changed, people had changed, old friends had left for greener pastures (not blaming them, even I would have), and so the surroundings were not so familiar again.

This time Batra and Chhotu (alias Vishal) had gone places with their respective girlfriends. So Tau and Gupta (alias Piyush) had to kinda shoulder the responsibility of the grand celebration of my birthday and wellllllll……they where trying their best to gimme a big surprise. So the three of us started waiting for midnight together and what better could we have had other than an old monk Gum-with-Rum session at our terrace to keep the slowly trickling time moving. As usual I was having only coke and was listening to the gr8 crap of two drunkards having sour throats and yet drinking all the more, cause u know what, rum helps in curing sour throats, a gyan I learnt having been in company of vividly different breed boozers all of whom would be nodding their head to this one fact. You know people can talk much sense after 2-3 pegs down which otherwise they would never do. Both the hands of my watch were in a lip lock now and it was TIME. Each incoming call made me more happy and ecstatic, wow ….. finally it was time I celebrated my b’day. Sometime later Tau and Gupta also wished me, u know until that time it wasn’t 12 in their watches, and considering the fact that they were High (almost downed half a bottle each) 12 was bound to be a bit late for them. The Rum session ended around 1.15 with my first lot of b’day wish calls. I was all set to go to my bed without cutting a cake, thinking that it was okay and with just two guys around cutting a cake would hardly make sense. But then Tau brought the cake which he was hidden in cupboard…And the cake cutting ceremony followed. Bade pyarse they gifted me a book. Have a look at the book first.

The Argumentative Indian

Tau asked Gupta to get a good book for me and he brought “The Argumentative Indians – Amartya Sen”. Tau abused him like anything… “Sale aur kuchh nahi mila… ye kya le aaya… @@@###$$$ Amartya sen ke siva kuchh nahi mila and all”. But Gupta was all set with his logical string of explanation. He wanted me to read some sense and said some hard reading would help me in my preparation. I respect your feelings Gupts… but believe me the whole book thing was so much fun, we all laughed at it like anything. It was around 5-10 minutes continuous laughter.

Then it was time for bed. I slept around 2 o’clock with heavy heart. I was thinking about these two guys (tau and gupta) as well as thinking about my other friends. Har b’day pe kuchh purane log missing hote hai… kuchh naye log aate hai… believe me guys you all have special place in my heart that no body can take. We keep on meeting new people but that doesn’t mean that old people don’t mean anything. In the morning I got up early, thnx to people getting home after office at onsite. It’s always a great feeling to receive calls on your b’day isn’t it? I got some unexpected calls and missed some expected calls also. Gupta had some critical issues in office so he went there. Tau and I decided to celebrate my b’day by watching 3 movies back to back. We bought DVDs of Walk the line, BI2 and Love Actually.

Around 3, Batra came back from his holiday stint, wished me and joined us in the movie session. Chhotu sent an SMS wishing me a happy b’day…I started abusing him like anything. Ek to sala din mai 5 baje wish karta hai woh bhi kutte ne SMS kiya…@@@###$!!! Sometime later he came home with a cake and forced me to cut it. The next thing I found was Black Forest all over my face, back, neck, and other parts of my body (can’t write where all). In retaliation, I gave him some back ;). We had gone all crazy ….aur Batra and Tau koi bhi lapet liya. Sabka b’day mana li… sab ko cake se nahla diya… After all this cake smacking and stuff we still managed to have a small piece left…. wondering what to do about it an idea struck me and I called gupta… “Hey gupta jaldi aa yar. Chhotu cake laya hai aur tera wait kar rahe hai kaat ne pe” woh aaya aur bade pyar se darwaje pe hi uska encounter ho gaya… hum charo bhukhe bhediyo ki tarah uspe tut pade. We all were in full masti mood. What followed was a so to say deferred celebration of Holi … It was full masti. I can’t upload all the pics here… otherwise pata nahi tum log kya sochonge. Ghar ki haalat dekne laayak thi.. aisa lagta tha ki yaha pe kisi ka encounter huaa hai… khun ki jagah cake pada tha pure ghar mai…

Have a look.

Ye ek time pe pura cake huaa karta thaa..

Batra

Chhots

Tau

Gupta

Pahchano b’day kiska tha…

That’s the Devil

Fir maine aur chhotu ne ghar ki thodi bahut safaai ki. Muje laga meri maid bahut accha kaam karti hai.. It’s a real pain to clean the room especially after you have thrown cake here and there. Dinner at a local restaurant followed.

That is not the end. Next day again another cake cutting session, followed by bumps in my office. I must tell you software engineers sun ne mai jinte hi soft lagte hai haquikat mai utne hi hard hote hai… bas kisi ka b’day aane ka wait karte hai… Khatam fir… Ronaldo bhi football ko pyar se maarta hai.. but ye log koi laaj sharm kuchh nahi… na koi lihaaj… bas maarte jaao…. I am still having pain in my butt. But again b’day bumps bhi acche hi lagte hai…right?

I would like to thank Tau, Gupta, Batra and Chhotu. Thank you very much for making my day wonderful. It was something different. I was missing all my old friends. But got some new friends and learnt a new way of celebrating b’day’s.

We the techies

In the confines of cubicles
By artificial light,

Sipping coffee from the machines
day and night.

Speaking on phones, in meetings we sit.
Staring the monitor, the keyboard(s) we hit.

Far away from loved ones whom
for days we do not meet.
Remembering them, working, on our seat.

This is life for us,
Working away from homes and loved ones in places afar.

What a life, techies we are.
What a life, techies we are, techies we are.

@Courtesy : Unknown Author

But wait a min... think for a while...
isn't it true?

Is it really worth?

I feel whatever (s)he has written is not enough to describe about techies.

Would you like to add anything here?

Ullu @ my place

April 13, 2006 (11:50 pm)

I was reading MediocreButArrogant (by Abheejit Bhandari) and listening to MLTR – Breaking my heart, suddenly I heard “Patel jaldi aa”

It was my room-mate Chhotu (aka Vishal). I thought may be he is calling because he must have seen some hot scene in some English movie or may be FTV is telecasting a brand new show of Victoria Secrete or new summer collection… (ya they are repeating MNH shows like anything… anybody from FTV listening here?? Hello???? Plz give us some new stuff.!!!!). We use to call each other and share those happy moments. wink wink. So, I didn’t bother and continue reading. Once again I heard “Patel…. Jaldi… jaldi aa patel”. This time I sensed something wrong. I asked what happened Chhots?

"Patel apne ghar mai Eagle aa gaya hai!!!!"
What that hell…. Eagle?? Mere ghar mai??? At this time?
"How come Chhotu?"
Yar I don’t know Batra (aka Ashutosh Batra) must have kept that door open. “Now stop shouting from there and come to drawing room Patel”.

I got up from my bad and first thing I did was step out of the room and closed the door.
“Eagle ko jaana hai to jaaye… mere room mai nahi aani chahiye…”
Then I recalled the entire lesson taught by my mom, whenever you see some sparrow in our house, beta switch off the fan and close the window. I did the same thing, switched off all the fans.

“Kaha hai Eagle Chhots?”
“Waha us hall mai.”
And suddenly some bird came flying from dark (light was off in other room).

Hum dono ki fat gai… Dono ekdam jameen pe let gaye… apni apni shakal bachake.. kahi maar vaar diya to? It was like a scene from Bollywood movie - hero and heroine dono jameen pe lete huye hai… .hero apni heroine ko gundo se bacha raha hai… dono jameen pe lete huye hia…
Baad main badi muskil se tirchhi nazar se dekha… are yar ye to ullu hai… Ullu bole to owl. Dono ki jaan mai jaan aayi.

Dono khade huye… and chhotu got 2 sticks from kitchen ullu ko udane ke liye…
(I know kitchen is the place where one should put some food but what can you expect from a bachelor’s kitchen, some news paper, some magazine like @@@####, may be tooth brush, shaving cream, some perfume and all….)

But bechara ullu dar gaya…ye log kya kar rahe hai… woh idhar ud raha hai… udhar ud raha hai..

Fan ke upar…

(Achha kiya na fan off kar diya var na to ho jaata na Raam Naam Satya tera….)

Khidki mai …

(Are bhai let me open that window first…)


TV ke pichhe…
Dyan se dekha to woh Ullu bhi nahi tha… ullu ka bachha tha…

Both of we gone crazy… Chhotu ek kapda le aaya while I grabbed my cell…
Ab to iska photo session karma padega…
Badi mushkil se use pakda.. and lage phot khinchne…

Here comes the hero…

How cute? (there was no gal to say CHHHOOOO CUTE.....)
Ye dekho kaise dekh raha hai… Soch raha hoga pahle to mujse door bhaag rahe the… fir pichhe baag rahe ho and ab ye kya kar rahe ho mere saath… no plz.. .mai ulluo ke saath photo nahi kinchwata…(hum use ullu bula rahe the and woh hame ulllu bula raha hoga…) no plz… no snaps… plz… leave me…. Plz….

But hum bhi kuchh kam hai kya?
Aise kaise chhode?

Dono ne jam ke photo session kiya.
Ye dekho..

Ullu and Chhotu rather Chota ullu (find out who is who)

That’s me with ullu… Soch raha hoga… bhai jaane bhi do… ab jaan loge kya bachhe ki?

Ye sab khatam ho gaya fir socha ab kya kiya jaaye..
Batra was busy talking on phone…we thought let’s play with him also…
Batre…. Chhat pe aashiqui farmana bandh kar aur jaldi niche aa… jaldi…
Woh bhi bhaag ke niche aaya…sahma sahma sa bola “everything fine?”
Then before he could understand anything Chhotu started running behind him with owl in his hand…

“ye dekh Eagle hai.. tere pe chhodunga…bhaag….”
Dono baag rahe the… it was fun!!!
Both went to the terrace and finally we set it free…

Woh bhi ek bhi baar bina pichhe dekhe ud gaya… he (or she… couldn’t get chance to check it out…) soch raha hoga… aaj kaha chala gaya tha… ajeeb ullu the sab… Agar uske paas bhi blogspot hota to woh bhi ek blog likta… “30 minutes @ ullu’s place”

Okay ullu bhaiya bye bye… ta ta… next time bata ke anna… will be ready to click more snaps….

BTW that code is still not working…
Seems this time GOD is not going to help me. Plz yar jara kisi ki chalti ho to jara uparwale se sifarish kar do yar…

Nostalgia 4 : Exams

Exam sunte hi mere dimaag mai khayal aata hai.

College banane wale kya tere man mai samayi.. kahe ko exam banayi tune kahe ko exam banayi?

Haa, I mean pure semester mai kitni masti karte hai and because of exams ufff… kitni mahenat karni padti hai…

Have a look at some photographs here. (Taken during internal exams)

Dekho bachhe log kaise padhte rahte hai?

Block ka ek bhi cona baaki nahi raha hai (None of the corner of the Block is empty… Lawn mai bhi baith kar padh rahe hai…
Na koi corridor baaki hai… har koi padh raha hai…

Ye log bhi… dekho dustbin ke bagal mai baith kar padh rahe hai… bechare…

Ye bhaisa’b to dekho… koi disturbance nahi chahiye muje… window mai baith gaye hai…

Too good.

Here comes Mr Mody…. Exam jaaye bhaad mai.. mai to so raha hu… pillow!!! Who needs it??? Software engineering ki book hai na?

We used to be very cool during internal exams. 10 was the passing limit out of 25 marks. We used to target for 8 or 9. Baaki ke 1-2 marks to sir/ma’m de hi dete the… The best part of our group was that we used to study in group. Just read for about 3-4 marks. Rest you can listen from someone and nahi to exams mai copy to hoti hi hai.. Ask your friend to give the headings for that theory. Baaki kahani to likh hi sakte hai… It was great fun. Start reading on the very same day of the exam. Half an hour of reading was enough for us to creak 2 papers… (Though It was not enough but some how we managed to do that) Start the day with little bit of tension. Then in the end… Jo bhi hoga dekha jaayega… Forget it…

Now let me talk about university exams.
Our university used to give us a reading vacation of full month before uni exams (They knew us. Vacation nahi diya to Gujarat uni will be the worst in terms of result)
So we used to enjoy the full semester. In the first week of our reading vacation we used to call all the scholars and ask about books.

Yar plz tell me which is the text book for this subject?
What is the syllabus in this subject?
Can you plz give me some notes?

By the time we find out these, week 2 of reading vacation is over. Now just 2 more weeks to go…

Ask some body “Yar can you just give me overview of this chapter?”
Find out who was the paper setter for the subject? Get the internal exam papers from his college.
Collect all the extra Xerox (photocopies for some extra material / some important questions)
Find out previous university papers.
By the time week 3 is over.

Just one week to go for university exam.
5 subjects and 7 days… bahut na insaafi hai…
Then we used to find out which paper has maximum holidays before it? Forget about that subject and start preparing for rest of subjects. But by this time we used to be in very pathetic position. We all used to get together for making strategies and for knowledge transfer programs.

I still remember – in sem 1. The previous night of “C” paper. We were studying till 4 in the morning at Surti’s place. Then Naman dialed some random number and he was like “Hello doctor, the buffalo is not feeling well, she is not giving milk, can you do something, and the injection you have given is not working” We all were laughing the guy at the other end…. “What!! 4 in the morning!!! Buffalo!!! Milk!!! Doctor!!! You f****, @@@@, ####. Hahahahah.”

Coming back to reading vacation. Now just 3 more days to go… Every time we used to think. Bas bahut ho gaya.. next time I will start working from the beginning of semester … ye kya har baar reading vacation mai haalat kharab hoti hai… bahut ho gaya ye… but trust me once the exams is over… padhai… woh kya hota hai? Reading vacation hai na… will study then only…
“Aakhir kutte ki punch sidhi hoti hai kya?”

Now just one day before exam… yar haalat bahut kharab hai.. haalat ye hai ki feeling sleepy but have finished for just about 40-50 marks. Have to study for some time other wise tomorrow I am gonna flunk. So read for 2-3 hours with half open eyes. By morning any how we used to be ready for 60-70 marks… Then in the morning once again ask some one to tell something about the chapters you haven’t read… By noon we used to be ready for 80-85 marks… (Thanks to Gujarat University for keeping papers in the after noon only.) Once the paper is over enjoy… Forget about the next paper… 3 din baaad hai na… tab dekh lenge… aaj ka paper nikaal diya uski khushi mai movie ho jaaye… 2 out of those 3 days we used to enjoy… and then last day once again the same condition... but sudharne ka naam nahi….

Once the uni exam is over, we used to pray every day. Full rush in all the temples / mosques / church.

God : aa gayi yaad meri? Pure sem to meri yaad nahi aayi thi ab kyo?
Me : plz give me 66.67% (Thanks to Guj Uni once again. 66.66% was considered as distinction). Next time I won’t come to you. I will study hard in next sem. Just for this exam… plz plz plz… bhagwan paas kardena.. Distinction nahi doge to bhi chalega (in worst cases)…

Then comes the D-day. Result time guys… every year we used to get rumors before 2-3 days of result - The result is going to announce today… We used to go to university every time we hear that rumor. And finally results are out… Everybody is at University… Somebody is happy… (s)he has got unexpectedly high marks… somebody is unhappy… (s)he has got the list marks… somebody missed the uni rank just by one mark… somebody got the uni rank… sale ki to aisi ki taisi…

But our whole group used to suffer a lot because of internal marks. Thanks to viva portion in the final result… Pure sem sir se pange liye ho to kahase marks milte…
So result scenario in our group was something like this

A: Kya huaa be?
B: Are yaar paas ho gaya?
B: Tu…
A: Mai bhi…
B: Sahi..
A&B : Yooo yoooo….Party… Chalo ye sem to nikal gaya baaki bhi nikal jayenge…

Lagta hia kal hi ki to baat kar raha hu aap se…

Anyways I shouldn’t forget that my code is not working in the production environment… today (on holiday) I have come to office to fix it up and I have started all this… okay better now I start working for that code otherwise again I will have to go GOD and ask him to do something about that error. I don’t want to do that… I know why to call GOD for everything. But whom can I call other then you my dear GOD. So GOD plz fix this bug otherwise my manager will screw me…
He will kick me out of this project, he will kick on my ass… Muje ye job se haath dhone padenge… No no nahi nahi… meri biwi bachhe bhukhe mar jayenge… muje roti ke liye bhikh mangni padegi… job ke liye bhikh mangni padegi… That time also I will come to you only dear GOD. So fix it plz plz….