Is it worthwhile?

This is in continuation with the post “We the techies”.

I am feeling damn sleepy. Time right now is 3:32 AM. My winamp is playing “Can’t stop this thing we started - Bryan Adams”. You must be wondering what the hell I am doing at this time. So for knowledge sakes, I am sitting in my cube to provide production support to my client (Only God knows who is going support to whom).

Have a look at the photo… (Taken during production support night)

Myself & Gupta… Giving production support… (u can make out which kinda support it is)

Ye pagla lamp khane ki try kar raha hai… yeah that’s me

I better cut the crap and start with my topic.

You must have heard things like "Life means change" and "Only change is constant", but has anybody ever thought whether changing or the change itself is really worth it?

Let’s talk about IT sector. Ancient India was famous for its leather, spices, diamonds and all, and now, after a long time Brand India is emerging, thanks to IT, and thanks to out sourcing. There is no doubt that I am doing a job which I wouldn’t even have thought some 20 years back. Most of us have a better job than our parents’, better in terms of salary, infrastructure and the so called high standard of living. Everything is so tempting, everything looks so promising. Day after day we are moving from one company to another, running after a higher salary. But aren’t we living in a material world? Aren’t we becoming material boys & girls? Everyday we are thinking of a new project, a new assignment, a new job, a new company, a new (b/g) friend, etc… But how much time are we spending on our personal life?

According to THE WEEK’s survey on workaholics “Every fourth employed Indian works more than 16 hours a day and ends the day feeling frustrated. Most of them agree that their life revolves around their work, but it’s ok if the money is good. Whether the family is happy or not with the job is not a major concern for them”

Is there any difference between a human being and a computer (rather a machine)? I would like to ask you one question here. Tell me, how much time do you spend on things that matter to you most? Do you ever talk to yourself?

According to another survey, “Every third workaholic is getting more quick-tempered and physically sicker than before”

I would like to pose a few more questions to you here.
* Do you have back / neck ailments?
* Have you been bogged down by depression / fatigue?
* Have you faced a problem of disturbed sleep / poor immunity?
* How about loss of relationships and emotional collapse?
* Do you remember when you went for a walk with your friend last time?
* How may times have you seen the sunrise / sunset during the last month?

“You have to be FLEXIBLE”, is probably the first eligibility criteria for taking up a job in the IT industry. Yeah that is a selection mantra allrite. “Are you flexible in terms of work (technology and working hours)? Are you flexible in terms of geographic location? If your answer is right you are my guy, come join us”. But we are human beings right? Aren’t they comparing us with the NextGen robots? Do we have emotions? Do we need friends and family? Now you might say, what rubbish, who is stopping you to make friends? But no boss, it’s not so easy to make and “maintain” friends. You leave your near n dear ones or they leave you on the pretext of career and / or work being more important. You always need to be ready for a short term transfer and that too on a minimal notice time. They may ask you to move to some city in India or overseas in 4-5 days. Can you wind up everything in such a short span of time? Tangibles are fine but how can you wind up your emotions, your attachment to the place and its people, how can you wind up your relations? Thinking, “Why can’t I maintain my friendship even when I am away?” Yes I can. But “Proximity does matter”. Because of your professional / personal obligations the frequency of talking reduces (even if you don’t want it to happen) and that makes a difference.

As I remember it, October 17, 2004, the day I came to Mysore for the first time. None of my school or college friends were here with me. I made some new friends during my training. Outta them, only 4 (Me, Batra, Banani, and Kakkar) got posted to Mysore. Others got posted elsewhere. Thus once again began the quest for new friends and I got some good pals too. Let me write their names. Buddy (alias Nabamita), TCK (alias Vignesh), Bisht (alias Dinesh), KG (alias Kamal), Tau, Raju (alias Peeyush) and Chhotu. They all are very good people to be friends with, each one being a class apart from the other but in a class of his own. But that does not mean that I don’t miss my old friends. Life is never that simple. Sometime later KG, Bisht, TCK and Buddy went to US for onsite assignments. KG is back now but others are still there. How can I forget the time we spent together? We are still in touch but can’t spend time together right? I made some good friends in of my previous projects too– Rocky (alias Rakesh), G (alias Anita), Mr. Setty, Sheru (alias Chetanya), Akhilesh, n more. But again none of them is here. Some of them went to onsite and some of them got transferred. That was not the end of it; Raju got posted to Pune, Banani went to Hyderabad, last week Chhotu got transferred to Mangalore and now Tau and gupta are also expecting some onsite assignments. I know I haven’t told anyone of you how much you mean to me. I am not saying that I can’t live without somebody but it hurts… When your friends go away it hurts…. I am really bad at this, but believe me guys (ya gals also….) you all (literally all) mean a lot to me. I am sure every one of you would be having your own Buddy, your own Tau, your own Raju, your own Chhotu, your own Batra and your own gang. You might also be feeling the same way as I do. But is all this really worth it?

I have observed a whole lotta changes in myself in the past 2 years. I have met herds of different people and I have been close with some of them. But only few of them are with me today. God knows if we will meet again. It’s really frustrating, and at times I feel tired of all such changes. I don’t want to loose my friends anymore. I am tired of being formal, saying sorry and thanking you with the least bit of emotion involved. I am tired of having endless cups of coffee. I am tired of getting all senti listening to the song “Chitthi aayi hai” from the movie Naam (Listen to it once, I find it too senti esp the lines
Tune paisa bahut kamaya, Is paise ne des chhudaya
Des paraya chhod ke aaja, Panchhi pinjra tod ke aaja
Aaja umar bahut hai chhoti, Apne ghar me bhi hai roti.)

I know I might be sounding like a loser here. Another song that would potray my feelings at this juncture would be

Everything's so blurry
and everyone's so fake
and everybody's empty
and everything is so messed up
pre-occupied without you
(From: "Blurry" - PUDDLE OF MUDD)

I don’t want you to end up all senti after reading this. This is solely a self introspection that I have done.

Don’t worry guys; you won’t more posts like this too often. Next post will be full of fun, but this time you have to bear with me.

I agree there are many ways to think about all this differently and feel good about everything but tell me frankly IS IT REALLY WORTHWHILE?