You really won’t get any thing out of this blog. It’s full of crap, crap n more crap. Whenever I will be happy will add some more crap and similarly whenever I will be down I will add more crap. So don’t blame me afterwards, you have been warned not to waste your time here.
Friday, April 21, 2006
We the techies
By artificial light,
Sipping coffee from the machines
day and night.
Speaking on phones, in meetings we sit.
Staring the monitor, the keyboard(s) we hit.
Far away from loved ones whom
for days we do not meet.
Remembering them, working, on our seat.
This is life for us,
Working away from homes and loved ones in places afar.
What a life, techies we are.
What a life, techies we are, techies we are.
@Courtesy : Unknown Author
But wait a min... think for a while...
isn't it true?
Is it really worth?
I feel whatever (s)he has written is not enough to describe about techies.
Would you like to add anything here?
Saturday, April 15, 2006
Ullu @ my place
I was reading MediocreButArrogant (by Abheejit Bhandari) and listening to MLTR – Breaking my heart, suddenly I heard “Patel jaldi aa”
It was my room-mate Chhotu (aka Vishal). I thought may be he is calling because he must have seen some hot scene in some English movie or may be FTV is telecasting a brand new show of Victoria Secrete or new summer collection… (ya they are repeating MNH shows like anything… anybody from FTV listening here?? Hello???? Plz give us some new stuff.!!!!). We use to call each other and share those happy moments. wink wink. So, I didn’t bother and continue reading. Once again I heard “Patel…. Jaldi… jaldi aa patel”. This time I sensed something wrong. I asked what happened Chhots?
"Patel apne ghar mai Eagle aa gaya hai!!!!"
What that hell…. Eagle?? Mere ghar mai??? At this time?
"How come Chhotu?"
Yar I don’t know Batra (aka Ashutosh Batra) must have kept that door open. “Now stop shouting from there and come to drawing room Patel”.
I got up from my bad and first thing I did was step out of the room and closed the door.
“Eagle ko jaana hai to jaaye… mere room mai nahi aani chahiye…”
Then I recalled the entire lesson taught by my mom, whenever you see some sparrow in our house, beta switch off the fan and close the window. I did the same thing, switched off all the fans.
“Kaha hai Eagle Chhots?”
“Waha us hall mai.”
And suddenly some bird came flying from dark (light was off in other room).
Hum dono ki fat gai… Dono ekdam jameen pe let gaye… apni apni shakal bachake.. kahi maar vaar diya to? It was like a scene from Bollywood movie - hero and heroine dono jameen pe lete huye hai… .hero apni heroine ko gundo se bacha raha hai… dono jameen pe lete huye hia…
Baad main badi muskil se tirchhi nazar se dekha… are yar ye to ullu hai… Ullu bole to owl. Dono ki jaan mai jaan aayi.
Dono khade huye… and chhotu got 2 sticks from kitchen ullu ko udane ke liye…
(I know kitchen is the place where one should put some food but what can you expect from a bachelor’s kitchen, some news paper, some magazine like @@@####, may be tooth brush, shaving cream, some perfume and all….)
But bechara ullu dar gaya…ye log kya kar rahe hai… woh idhar ud raha hai… udhar ud raha hai..
Fan ke upar…
(Achha kiya na fan off kar diya var na to ho jaata na Raam Naam Satya tera….)
Khidki mai …
(Are bhai let me open that window first…)
TV ke pichhe…
Dyan se dekha to woh Ullu bhi nahi tha… ullu ka bachha tha…
Both of we gone crazy… Chhotu ek kapda le aaya while I grabbed my cell…
Ab to iska photo session karma padega…
Badi mushkil se use pakda.. and lage phot khinchne…
Here comes the hero…
How cute? (there was no gal to say CHHHOOOO CUTE.....)
Ye dekho kaise dekh raha hai… Soch raha hoga pahle to mujse door bhaag rahe the… fir pichhe baag rahe ho and ab ye kya kar rahe ho mere saath… no plz.. .mai ulluo ke saath photo nahi kinchwata…(hum use ullu bula rahe the and woh hame ulllu bula raha hoga…) no plz… no snaps… plz… leave me…. Plz….
But hum bhi kuchh kam hai kya?
Aise kaise chhode?
Dono ne jam ke photo session kiya.
Ye dekho..
Ullu and Chhotu rather Chota ullu (find out who is who)
That’s me with ullu… Soch raha hoga… bhai jaane bhi do… ab jaan loge kya bachhe ki?
Ye sab khatam ho gaya fir socha ab kya kiya jaaye..
Batra was busy talking on phone…we thought let’s play with him also…
Batre…. Chhat pe aashiqui farmana bandh kar aur jaldi niche aa… jaldi…
Woh bhi bhaag ke niche aaya…sahma sahma sa bola “everything fine?”
Then before he could understand anything Chhotu started running behind him with owl in his hand…
“ye dekh Eagle hai.. tere pe chhodunga…bhaag….”
Dono baag rahe the… it was fun!!!
Both went to the terrace and finally we set it free…
Woh bhi ek bhi baar bina pichhe dekhe ud gaya… he (or she… couldn’t get chance to check it out…) soch raha hoga… aaj kaha chala gaya tha… ajeeb ullu the sab… Agar uske paas bhi blogspot hota to woh bhi ek blog likta… “30 minutes @ ullu’s place”
Okay ullu bhaiya bye bye… ta ta… next time bata ke anna… will be ready to click more snaps….
BTW that code is still not working…
Seems this time GOD is not going to help me. Plz yar jara kisi ki chalti ho to jara uparwale se sifarish kar do yar…
Tuesday, April 11, 2006
Nostalgia 4 : Exams
College banane wale kya tere man mai samayi.. kahe ko exam banayi tune kahe ko exam banayi?
Haa, I mean pure semester mai kitni masti karte hai and because of exams ufff… kitni mahenat karni padti hai…
Have a look at some photographs here. (Taken during internal exams)
Na koi corridor baaki hai… har koi padh raha hai…
Ye log bhi… dekho dustbin ke bagal mai baith kar padh rahe hai… bechare…
Ye bhaisa’b to dekho… koi disturbance nahi chahiye muje… window mai baith gaye hai…
Here comes Mr Mody…. Exam jaaye bhaad mai.. mai to so raha hu… pillow!!! Who needs it??? Software engineering ki book hai na?
We used to be very cool during internal exams. 10 was the passing limit out of 25 marks. We used to target for 8 or 9. Baaki ke 1-2 marks to sir/ma’m de hi dete the… The best part of our group was that we used to study in group. Just read for about 3-4 marks. Rest you can listen from someone and nahi to exams mai copy to hoti hi hai.. Ask your friend to give the headings for that theory. Baaki kahani to likh hi sakte hai… It was great fun. Start reading on the very same day of the exam. Half an hour of reading was enough for us to creak 2 papers… (Though It was not enough but some how we managed to do that) Start the day with little bit of tension. Then in the end… Jo bhi hoga dekha jaayega… Forget it…
Now let me talk about university exams.
Our university used to give us a reading vacation of full month before uni exams (They knew us. Vacation nahi diya to Gujarat uni will be the worst in terms of result)
So we used to enjoy the full semester. In the first week of our reading vacation we used to call all the scholars and ask about books.
Yar plz tell me which is the text book for this subject?
What is the syllabus in this subject?
Can you plz give me some notes?
By the time we find out these, week 2 of reading vacation is over. Now just 2 more weeks to go…
Ask some body “Yar can you just give me overview of this chapter?”
Find out who was the paper setter for the subject? Get the internal exam papers from his college.
Collect all the extra Xerox (photocopies for some extra material / some important questions)
Find out previous university papers.
By the time week 3 is over.
Just one week to go for university exam.
5 subjects and 7 days… bahut na insaafi hai…
Then we used to find out which paper has maximum holidays before it? Forget about that subject and start preparing for rest of subjects. But by this time we used to be in very pathetic position. We all used to get together for making strategies and for knowledge transfer programs.
I still remember – in sem 1. The previous night of “C” paper. We were studying till 4 in the morning at Surti’s place. Then Naman dialed some random number and he was like “Hello doctor, the buffalo is not feeling well, she is not giving milk, can you do something, and the injection you have given is not working” We all were laughing the guy at the other end…. “What!! 4 in the morning!!! Buffalo!!! Milk!!! Doctor!!! You f****, @@@@, ####. Hahahahah.”
Coming back to reading vacation. Now just 3 more days to go… Every time we used to think. Bas bahut ho gaya.. next time I will start working from the beginning of semester … ye kya har baar reading vacation mai haalat kharab hoti hai… bahut ho gaya ye… but trust me once the exams is over… padhai… woh kya hota hai? Reading vacation hai na… will study then only…
“Aakhir kutte ki punch sidhi hoti hai kya?”
Now just one day before exam… yar haalat bahut kharab hai.. haalat ye hai ki feeling sleepy but have finished for just about 40-50 marks. Have to study for some time other wise tomorrow I am gonna flunk. So read for 2-3 hours with half open eyes. By morning any how we used to be ready for 60-70 marks… Then in the morning once again ask some one to tell something about the chapters you haven’t read… By noon we used to be ready for 80-85 marks… (Thanks to Gujarat University for keeping papers in the after noon only.) Once the paper is over enjoy… Forget about the next paper… 3 din baaad hai na… tab dekh lenge… aaj ka paper nikaal diya uski khushi mai movie ho jaaye… 2 out of those 3 days we used to enjoy… and then last day once again the same condition... but sudharne ka naam nahi….
Once the uni exam is over, we used to pray every day. Full rush in all the temples / mosques / church.
God : aa gayi yaad meri? Pure sem to meri yaad nahi aayi thi ab kyo?
Me : plz give me 66.67% (Thanks to Guj Uni once again. 66.66% was considered as distinction). Next time I won’t come to you. I will study hard in next sem. Just for this exam… plz plz plz… bhagwan paas kardena.. Distinction nahi doge to bhi chalega (in worst cases)…
Then comes the D-day. Result time guys… every year we used to get rumors before 2-3 days of result - The result is going to announce today… We used to go to university every time we hear that rumor. And finally results are out… Everybody is at University… Somebody is happy… (s)he has got unexpectedly high marks… somebody is unhappy… (s)he has got the list marks… somebody missed the uni rank just by one mark… somebody got the uni rank… sale ki to aisi ki taisi…
But our whole group used to suffer a lot because of internal marks. Thanks to viva portion in the final result… Pure sem sir se pange liye ho to kahase marks milte…
So result scenario in our group was something like this
A: Kya huaa be?
B: Are yaar paas ho gaya?
B: Tu…
A: Mai bhi…
B: Sahi..
A&B : Yooo yoooo….Party… Chalo ye sem to nikal gaya baaki bhi nikal jayenge…
Lagta hia kal hi ki to baat kar raha hu aap se…
Anyways I shouldn’t forget that my code is not working in the production environment… today (on holiday) I have come to office to fix it up and I have started all this… okay better now I start working for that code otherwise again I will have to go GOD and ask him to do something about that error. I don’t want to do that… I know why to call GOD for everything. But whom can I call other then you my dear GOD. So GOD plz fix this bug otherwise my manager will screw me…
He will kick me out of this project, he will kick on my ass… Muje ye job se haath dhone padenge… No no nahi nahi… meri biwi bachhe bhukhe mar jayenge… muje roti ke liye bhikh mangni padegi… job ke liye bhikh mangni padegi… That time also I will come to you only dear GOD. So fix it plz plz….
Nostalgia 3 : College dayz
The first time I entered my college was the day when I got admission in Nirma Institute of Technology. Remember that Nirma Nirma washing powder Nirma…. Sabki pasand Nirma ad?… ya the same guy started this college. I had seen Nirma from outside many times but I could never get a chance to see it form inside. Kabhi socha bhi nahi tha ki will go to Nirma some day… Let me tell you Nirma, at that time, was the NUMERO UNO college for engineering in Gujarat. At that time for getting admission into Nirma aapko koi entrance ki zaroorat nahi thi… It was under centralized admission commission based on your 12th standard (Plus 2, 2nd PU whatever you call it). Pata nahi kaise but I got some good numbers in 12th and got admission in Nirma, that to in IT (Information Technology) branch. At that time IT was the hottest option. So I took admission in IT. Yes that’s true I was the greatest dumb on the earth (rather I am still the greatest dumb on the earth). I didn’t know the syllabus of IT. Muje ye bhi pata nahi tha ki which kind of job I will be doing after 4 years. Plz don’t laugh but at that time muje Infy (where I am working right now) ke bare mai bhi pata nahi tha. I know you are feeling like Adnana Sami’s – Lift karade (kaise kai so ko diya hai) song… Must be thinking sala ko kuch ata pata bhi nahi tha… IT ka I bhi pata nahi aata tha, aur abhi infy mai baitha hai… but believe me I was not the only one. Around 70-80% of my classmates were like that only. And all of them are at the good position in good organizations today. Dheere dheere sab samaj ne lage… pata chala kaha aa gaye hai hum and ab kaha jane wale hai hum… So if you are like me don’t worry. But at the same time you should not be careless about your career.
Anyway let me come back to my first day @ Nirma. I and my dad went to Nirma that day. We both had something in our mind regarding Nirma. Bahut suna tha Nirma ke bare mai.. Nirma ye and Nirma woh, the strictest college in the world, you can’t even take breath without permission, you can’t even break any of the rules, you will have to act as a goody goody boy are a goody goody gal, no bunks, no proxies… But on the very first day I came to know ki ye sab BAKWAS hai. Hum log cricket ground dekhne gaye and there this guy (caption of the loosing team was abusing his boys). Ma-bahan-beti sabki **##@@** sunara raha tha woh. Or bhi kuchh interesting galiya woh bol raha tha jo mai aapko nahi bata sakta. Nahi nahi, no please. Sorry I have some decency (ya you read it right…. I am talking about myself, Dhaval Patel) so I can’t write it here. But it was like 440 Volts jatka for me… It’s not that ki woh sab galiya muje pata nahi thi but the thing was my dad was with me.
Believe me for a just-passed-out-from-a-school student the most embarrassing thing is to hear somebody abusing when he is with his dad. He is enjoying it but can’t show the happiness on face. Similarly dad ko bhi pata hai ki beta bolta hoga... ya fir ab sikh hi jayega and bolega par woh bhi acche sharif baap ban ne ka try karenge. Ladka college mai ja raha hai abhi se chhut de di to pata nahi kya karega college mai jake… And the second most embarrassing thing is getting caught by your dad while you are happily staring at the gal. Same funda again. Both the boy and the father have their own reasons for that.
Anyways let me start with my semester 1.
Because it was first semester, we all studied hard (till our first internal exam). But once we got our first semester result (45+/50 in 3 out of 6) subjects, I was like oh man… This is not good. No not at all. How can you get this much marks in college. Gals may think ki this is a bookish guy and not a BF material. So padhai gone and I started all masti right after result of the very first internal exam.
I heard that Nirma is like the gurukul in Mohabbatein. But hum bhi Raj Aryan se kam thodi na hai? Ha hame koi Narayan Shankar nahi mila tha… Let me remember what all we did in our class.
I still remember Ms. Amisha (my lecturer in sem 3). What not we did in her class. We used to throw chalk / eraser / paper at her. When she asked us to leave the class, we used to get out of the class with a smile and thank you on our lips. We did a lot many things which we were not supposed to do like playing card (flash) at the last bench, eating, sleeping, proxies, abusing loudly, grrrrr what not.
If you are reading this post I would like to say sorry ma’m. I am really very sorry ma’m, I mean it. Agar woh chahti to viva mai hamari vat laga sakti thi. But she didn’t do that. And when I spoke to her regarding this, she told me “I can’t be like you”. So great of you ma’m.
Anyways let me continue with masti @ college… Ya bunks and proxies are very common in college and we also did the same. I remember some of our lecturers were very liberal in attendance. So instead of us doing the proxies they themselves were doing it. And some of them caught us red handed. Humne apni attendance ki kurbani de ke bhi dosto ki attendance lagai hai… (dosti ka karz to ada karma padta hai na). We used to play cricket or volleyball by bunking the class. We use to sleep in our campus lawn and drink the water (from the sprinkler) - we were looking like riksha-wala-bhaiyas but who cares? Playground chhod ke paani pine block mai kon jaye? Aur agar HOD ne dekh liya to gaye beta… Bunk maar ke we used to go for movie also (Thanks to R-world, a gr8 multiplex nearby Nirma). But for that also hamne bahut paapad belne pade the. Main gate par security walo ko cigarette pilana, sabhi ko sir bolna, diwali pe sweets dena, everything… I mean bunk ke liye sala kubh bhi karega right?
One thing I would like to tell you, in Nirma we had to write an apology letter for anything you do. You caught listening walkman in college corridor - an apology letter, kisi ladki ko chheda - an apology letter, sir se punga liya - an apology letter, koi bhi rule toda - an apology letter, class mai phone baja - an apology letter … it was too much. But hum bhi IT ke students the. We used technology to the max. We had a soft copy of a very generic apology letter, which can be used by any of the students for any for the reasons, a very generic one. We used to take a printout, whenever needed, and feel the blank space and give it to respective sir. No I am not exaggerating, we have done it. Plane and all were very common. We used to play with rubber band and piece of paper (which was like a weapon for us). Have a look at these snaps.
A guy in action
I need a shield
As usual we also had a fight for sitting on last bench. Reason for doing that, you can bunk the class anytime, you can sleep, you can finish any other tutorials, read novels/magazines, listen to songs, talk on phone, blah blah… But some how we managed to sit on last bench (or last but one). I still remember, one fine day on of my friends brought cake from his home. And I was sitting on last bench with him, both of us enjoyed the cake fully. Just imagine eating full cake with hands as a fork and a piece of paper as a cutter. It was a great experience I must say. Ya but initially we had problems in doing all masties as we had very sophisticated students in our class (cuz of meritocracy, all of us were 90+ percentage in our 12th, so understood right?). We started with 3-4 people and by the end of 7th semester almost all of them were with us. Thank you for making my college life wonderful…
I can’t forget my seniors and juniors (oh how can I forget those sweeties – a very general funda “you will never find a maal in you batch, it’s always your junior or senior batch who has got all the maals)
I can’t forget volleyball & cricket matches we have played.
I can’t forget Garba – Dandiya (a Gujarati dance) and (also other things which we have done in name of Garba)
I can’t forget canteen
I can’t forget IT/Comp’s block
I can’t forget III (industry and institute interface cell for placement)
I can’t forget workshop
I can’t forget mechanical students
I can’t forget auditorium
I can’t forget quiz and play we had done
I can’t forget exam time when most you had helped me
I can’t forget placement party
I can’t forget last semester (come to think of it I can’t forget any single day spent in Nirma)
I can’t forget Naryans (my group), Nityanand, Bhavin, Madhurya, Tina, Arpita, Nilam, Krupa, Tejal, Vidya, Snehal, Nehal, Khatri (printer hahahaha), Yusuf, Pradhyumna, Viral, Indra, Chandu, Jassi, … (can’t write all the names)
But
I can’t forget any one of you. I mean it guys… Thanks for everything you have done (and for everything you haven’t done also wink wink)
It’s not possible for me to write about my college life in just one post but I have tried my level best to give you highlights of my college life innings. Now for extra innings you will have to contact Mandira. Remember that world cup extra innings? Okay now enough… put your tongue in you mouth. Mandira ka naam suna nahi ki ho gaye shuru…
Well yar tumhari tolerance limit ki to daad deni padegi yar…. Pura post padh liya… I know I have put all the things in a big mess. Totally disordered, and lacking of fine flow. But that’s typical me. Don’t go by the heading for post. You may find something more college dayz in next posts.
All the best for your future
Cheers!!!
No period of my life has been one of such unmixed happiness as the
four years which have been spent within college walls.
Monday, April 03, 2006
Nostalgia 2 : Attack
Canteen & Attack??? Strange!!!
Yaa every time just before starting our lunch, we use to say attack like Amitabh Bachhan in Satte pe Satta. But we were lucky, we didn’t have Hema Malini there to stop it. ;)
We used to wait for everyone to come on the table. Once everybody assembles Dahod (my friend Jigar from place called Dahod but knows as dahod only) used to say attack, and it’s all gone. Mom could have wasted 2 hours in making those soft roties and sabji with all ingredients in proper ratio for her Chunnu Munnu, but within 2 minutes woh roti roti nahi rahti thi… Just imagine 8 odd people attacking on the same roti. It was much more horrible than a rape by Gulshan Grover and gang in old hindi movies. Homemade food was always on target for our friends. You can’t use fork and spoon boss. Agar table manners mai dhyan rakhkha to samjo bhukhe mar jaonge bacha. No I mean it ye dekho.
Abusing while eating was almost inevitable for our group. Yar gali ke bina to khana hazam hi nahi hota…
Then comes Punjabi meals. How can I forget Punjabi meals at my canteen?
If you re-arrange canteen menu in descending order on the basis of right hand side column it comes on the top. I swear on Preity Zinta’s dimple, at that time 35 bucks for Punjabi meal was more than dinner at Sahib Sindh Sultan or Delli Darbar.
College canteen ki Cold coffee main kuchh special tha. Café Coffee Day ya Barista ki cold coffee bhi uska comparision nahi kar sakti. Similarly agar ek side pe canteen ka Pizza ho aur dusri side pe Domino’s ka, I will still prefer canteen wala pizza. Not because it costs me less but because there is something about that pizza. Thought it’s not that tasty, the guy, who was making it, was not following any standards (kise pata ISO:2001 kya hota hai) but uske saath college ki yaade judi huyi hai.
Let me talk about South indian food also. At that that I was fond of Dosa and all (Now after spending one n half year in South India it’s a different story all together).
If some day somebody buys a dosa, gone… After ATTACK you can have only one chance (that too if you are lucky), take how much you can take in that chance. But it was fun…
MBA Canteen… How can I forget it? Yeah when we were in semester 6 a new canteen for Nirma Institute of Management was opened. The caterer was new and was not aware or our group. He had a scheme of unlimited (self service :D) meal for 25 bucks. But it couldn’t continue longer. Thanks to us. We had a master plan for that. Everyday one of us used to get a token for mean and that’s it. Unlimited hai bhai… 1 plate and 8 boys… By God ek – ek paise ko vasul kiya tha… Poor management guys… Some times they couldn’t get food because of us. After all you have to pay something for being so sophisticated / so well mannered.
Canteen ki baat ho and Mechanical students ki baat na ho aisa ho sakta hai kya?
To enjoy college and canteen life to the max, you have to be with Mech guys. I had some good friends in Mech so it was fun for me. They use to do all type of nautankies. Songs, B’day bumps, Proposal, Truth-n-dare… you name it they have done it.
Let me talk about some fundu tricks used by some guys in my canteen. I still remember a guy from Computer Science. He used to collect one rupee form five different persons and then used to have his Vada pav. I remember this because I am a big time victim of this “No change, can you give me a rupee plz” plan. But his plan really needs to be appreciated. After all who can think of getting a vada pav for free in such manner? Similarly some of my friends used to have free coffee. They used to go to coffee vending machine, where you can find at least 5 guys at anytime. That’s it ho gaya. Say hi to each of them. Ask hows life and blah blah… Take 2 sips from each cup. You are done… Such ideas still amuse me.
Uffff… bas ab muh mai paani aa gaya… mai to chala khane..
Aakhir kaane aur sone se badhkar koi kaam hai bhala???
"Sex is good, but not as good as fresh, sweet corn."