Wednesday, April 18, 2007

Blunders a guy can do!!!

Hey all,
Me back after a loooooooonggg time…. Okay no more faltoo ka crap I will start off with my actual crap.

I was just thinking about blunders a guy can do in his life, so today I am going to write about such blunders. I am not going to tell how much of these blunders I have done!!! I think you people are smart enough to guess.

1)
Okay, suppose you are going for the most important interview of your life. At reception area while waiting for your turn to come, by chance you just see a gal; a nice girl, well dressed in a beautiful sari, with light make up, in short in her best possible look. Obviously being a guy your tongue will come out and you will start gawking at her (jaise kabhi achhi ladki dekhi hi na ho – Normally girls tell that right???). Even after knowing that the girl has noticed it few times and she is now getting irritated you keep on drooling like a despo dog. After happily staring at her for half an hour you will definitely forget about your interview, and suddenly somebody calls your name and tells, okay Mr. X you are next person for interview, get ready. Now imagine after adjusting your self back to normal when you open the door for interview, you come to know that the nice looking girl is the HR and she is going to take your interview. What will be your mental condition? Won’t you think “Why the hell I was gawking at this female??” “I mean, they should have put a tag telling she is the HR or she is the interviewer??”
Imagine this scene boss. I can tell you this can be the biggest blunder in someone’s life; he may get rejected before the interview itself.

My piece of advice: when ever you go for some important interview do remember this, “bhagwan harek Vishwamitra ka tap bhang karne ke liye Menka ko bhejta hi hai” :)

2)
Now think about this. You are working with a well known company, which believes in VALUES and gives the highest importance to its employees and their safety. One fine afternoon while talking on phone, by mistake you are entered to a ladies restroom (thanks to building architects for not following rule of symmetry). For the first few seconds you will not be able to understand what is wrong with the restroom, why everything looks so different, why the hell the walls are pink and so on… By the moment you realize that it’s a mistake, some girl starts shouting “Help… help…” How will you convince her that it was by mistake? What if she decides to log a complaint against you (thanks to “anti sexual harassment” policy)

My piece of advice: Never ever do anything else while you are on call

Okay, I will give you some more scenarios…

3)
Suppose you have received the scorecard of your CAT exam; for which you have spend huge money and wasted a hell lot of time. Suppose your score card is telling that you have got some 1 percentile in Verbal section of it and some 10 percentile in reasoning section. Obviously you will be in full frusted mood and wouldn’t like to talk with anybody in the world. Then suppose your meet some of your very good friend online (with whom you share everything), he asks you about your CAT result and you ask him to call you on your cell. At the very same time you get a call and without looking at the caller name you start shouting “hi, I got fcuked up big time dude… CAT screwed me up and some more MAA-BAHAN KI GAALIYAN” and then you come to know that it was not your friend, it was your father who was calling you. What would be your reaction??? Because of your very good image at home and your father thinking that you are a very good boy both of you will try to handle the situation by telling, hello… hello… are you able to hear me? I think there is some problem with the phone line, I think have got some cross connection, Wait I will cut and recall you. It is a very embarrassing situation in a guy’s life when his father comes to know about his son’s knowledge about GAALIYAA (bad words)

Something very similar…

Assume that you are waiting for some of your friend’s phone and at the same time you get a call on your cell from some extension of your office. You are starting with “Ha sale time mil gaya… kar liya tune phone… kaha muh kala karva raha tha ab tak??” n some more ##$$$.... and the first thing you hear from the other end is “hmm Hi, it’s me Mr. Y, can you come to my cabin. And that Mr. Y happens to be your Senior Manager. Can you think of the consequences?

My piece of advice: Never ever start talking on phone before confirming who is on the line at the other end

4)
This one is very common during some social functions, esp Marriage and some festivals like “Navratri” and “Diwali”
Suppose, you are in a group of some 5 guys and all of you are busy looking for hot chicks. All of a sudden you get excited about a gal and start describing about her. Look at that girl in Pink dude…. She is so hot, look at her ###, and so on. And somebody from your group tells that hold on, she is my sister/girl friend/wife. Just think of this embarrassing situation.

My piece of advice: Better not to open your mouth when you are in group or make sure she is no where related with anybody group.

5)
Most of us will not do this blunder but guys who believe in multi tasking one may face this situation.
Assume that you have spent some 3-4 months and hell lot of money just to impress some gal. In spite of all these she is not even ready to talk to you. You decide to do some more fielding for her, and trying to make her friends/roommates happy by treating them (so that they can go and tell good things about yourself). Finally somehow that female agrees to talk to you and you decide a time and call her. After being goody goody on phone, finishing a decent talk finally you call her it was nice talking to you Miss X instead of Miss Y, hope we will go for coffee soon. Just imagine what will the reaction from a girl’s side. (I know boys won’t mind if some girl tells him X/Y/Z but girls are very sensitive about their names)

My piece of advice: Never ever forget somebody’s name while talking with her.


BTW…
I have completed one year in this Blog world… Happy B’day to “Blog full of Crap” ;)

PS: Fiction comes from reality it self ;)
PPS: You are most welcome to share your rich experience as well:)