Sunday, August 06, 2006

Orkut ne kiya parda faash!!!

Hi Friends,

I am back after a long (yeah real long) time. I don’t want to give any excuses (/ valid reasons) but yeah I have felt that “With great power comes great responsibility”.

Anyway for the title of this post I would like to thank Aaaj Tak / Start News / other news channel. These days I can watch only “Vaardaat” type of episodes (crime reports) in TV because when I go back to my room, only thing I can watch on TV is these late night crime reports on news channels or late night shows (nahi mai uski baat nahi kar raha…) thanks to the new project.

Some time I wonder, ye reporter to koi jail se bhaga hua kaidi to nahi!!!!
The way they speak, “Chain se sona hai to jaag jaoo”, “Shakal se maasum dikhne wala ye shaksh kahi bhi ho sakta hai, aapke bagal mai bhi”, “Bhai bana bhai ka katil”, “Delhi Police ne kiya parda faash”, is much more threatening. When they use special effect and computer generated videos to show some crime reports it looks so stupid.

Guys pardon me for the language of this. Actually I tried writing in English but wo baat nahi bani. So “Swalpa Adjust MAADI” (do adjust a bit - in Kanadda)

Aaj hum dikhane wale hai ki kis tarah se Orkut ne kiya parda faash, aur benakab kiya un logo ko. Hamare crime reporter Dhaval Patel ki ye sansani bhari special report “Orkut ne kiya parda faash!!!”

Dhaval : Ji ha dosto, mai dikhane wala hu ki kis tarah se shakal se dikhte bole bhale logo ke andar ek shaitan chhupa hua hota hai. Social network ka zansa de kar ye log apni kali kartut chhupana chahte hai... Jana mane Orkut ne kiya aise kahi logo ka parda faashh. Ye kuchh scarps hai jo muje acchi photo wali ladkio ki Orkut profiles se mile hai.

(1)
hiiiii plz help me out....
waNNA MAKE FRIENDSHIP WID UUUUU.....
PLZ DO ME FAVOUR........
UR SMILING IS SOOOOOOO NICE.BA BYEEEEE
[Naubat yaha bheekh maangne tak ki aa gai hai… Magar ladki ka dil bilkul nahi peegla aur ladki ne ladke ko help karne se inkaar kar diya...]

(2)
hii there of course i dont know you ...
m new to orkut and m trying to make some new frds and just wrote to you asking you to become one of my new frds....
so if u dont mind can we be frds....
[abe sale maaan na maaan mai tera mahemaan, janta nahi to kyo aaya yaha pe…
And naye dost kyo chahiye… purane dosto ne baga diya kya… n bade aaye don’t mind wale… mind kar liya to???]


(3)
Hi, heard u r very gud friend with the people around u so if intersted 2 make me a friend do reply soon byeeeeeeeee
[nope tumne jo bhi suna hai wo sab galat hai and I am not interested in new friends :@]

(4)
hiii...BETA.how r u
this is ALPHA here
can we F.R.I.E.N.D.S
waiting for ur reply
[Name(s) changed
Bhai ye hit serial ka naam likhne se kuchh nahi hota
Keep waiting]


(5)
hello
hi
u luk gorgeous
wanna be my frnd
[Ha pata hai mai gorgeous lagti hu… tabhi to sale message kiya hai…
Apni original photo lagai yoti to ye friend request nahi bhejta…]


(6)
hey BETA....i hv gon thru ur profile ...
nw i just wanna b ur frnd
[kisne bola ki profile so go through karne se friends ban jaate hai!!!!]

(7)
hi BETA
how are you???
...can we start exchanging mesgs now???
...it has been long time capturing a little space in each other's friend lists...
...i just felt...i should break the silence...to start with...
...what do you say???
[You are asking me now and you have already started exchanging messages…
Little space, break the silence !!! ye sab kya hai…. Grrrrr ]


(8)
you are looking so sweet in your album...
[I look sweet in album only... Real life mai koi chudel se kam nahi hu...
ab banega friend????]


(9)
hi BETA wanna be friends? u look damn hot yaar.
[but you are not looking hot… don’t want to be ur friend]

(10)
hi BETA,
i like to creat new friends!
can u join me as friend?
[but I don’t like to CREATE new friend
BTW ye new friends create kaise hote hai…]


(11)
i also live in pune if you wanna meet me just call me on my cell 98989 89898
you seriously look so beautiful i will definatly like to meet you.
[Bande ki tadap dekho, phone number bhi de diya… are bhai so what you are from Pune… there are many more… and each one of them also likes to meet me…]

(12)
BBBBBEEEEETTTTAAAAAAAAAA ur name is too hot to pronounce.
[Jal nahi gaya kya?
bada aaya... ur name is too hot wala...
pahle kabhi ye naam suna nahi hai kya???]


(13)
hey yaar..
we were supposed to meet na..
forgot dear??
scrap me sweet!!!!!!
[ye bandi scrap nahi karti aur bande ne to milne ke bhi khwab bana diye.. kuchh nahi ho sakta bhai tera to]

(14)
ABC@XYZ.com .......... my mail n messenger id....... scrap bk or mail or msg......... wanna b frenz ??????
[pahle hi email id de diya… ha muft ka jo banaya hai account…
Waise banda dekha kitna adjusting hai…
Scrap / mail / messenger / … kuchh bhi chalega]


(15)
HI i am Girl trapped in male body ....can we chat?
[:O:O:O!!!!! Chhii]

(16)
aila!!!!!!!!
what a profile intro.....
i am impressed!!!!!!!!!!!!
[Abe profile to hoti hi hai impress karne ke liye..
Ab sachhai bhi jaan na chahega???]


(17)
kai baisaheb amchya scrap baddal kahich ka vatat nahi aplyala?
Nasel scrap pathvayacha tumhala tar tasa sanga na friendcha kantala ala ahe kinwa amchyashi bolayala avadat nahi tumhala.
ugich garibachi tingle karata rao ani scrap chi maja pahata fakta!
[Can’t translate it totally – Its written in Marathi. But point to be noted here is “Ppl are taking help of different languages also”
konacha hi kahi fayada nahi (kisi ka kuchh fayda nahi)]


(18)
hi BETA
can i call u BET?
i like u r name
hey too sexy snap ha
[Bhaiya naam chhota kar ke bulane se ladki pat jaati to aat tak ladkiyo ke naam bachte hi nah… har koi A B C D mai baat karta hota…]

(19)
Hii wanna be close to me tell me somthin abt u
R u interested in dating wanna meet me
[Andhere mai teer pe teer maarte raho… kahi to kuchh to hoga…]

(20)
hi dear how are u? let meet or chat sometime. add my id to ur gmail.
when are u online?
can we meet soon?
can i knw a bit more abt u...frends???
[Oye gattu thand rakh yaar..
Ek scrap ka reply to aane de…
First time mai hi friend / chat / meeting request sabkuchh!!!]


To dekha aapne ki log kis had tak gir sakte hai,
ek ladki ka scrap pane ke liye… "Sirf ek Scrap"

aap bhi savdhar rahe…

aise log kahi bhi ho sakte hai…
aapke next cubicle mai ya
aapke next room mai ya
aapke bagal wale flat mai….
Yaad rahe “Chain se sona hai to jaag jao”


I think I should cut my crap here only(u can’t expect anything else in Blog-Full-Of-Crap right???)

But one thing is sure... these guys has changed the definition of Friends and Friendship.

Anyways... Wishing you Happy Friendship day
Njoy!!!

~Dh@v@!

37 comments:

starry said...

Interesting post.Happy friendship day to you.

Anuradha said...

kya bata hai reporterji... achi investigation hai...waise kya orkutting kare...sab tho infy ne block kar rakha hai... proxy bhi nahi chalti :(...
Hows u doing?? hows life??
HAPPY FRIENDSHIP DAY!!!

Anonymous said...

Mast blog hai my dear. mazaa aa gaya padh kar ke. lage raho.

Happy Friendship day.

Vidya said...

Gosh !! even I get such wierd "Scraps" on Orkut !!

www.friendster.com is wierder !!

Vidya

Anonymous said...

Bahot khub jamay man???

kya observations hai!!!

Saccha Orkut wala hai tu!!!

: Denish Patel

Nabeel said...

hahaha @ girl trapped in male body .. damnnn .. now is this a pick up line or a cry for help?

I know @ orkut msgs .. guys just have too much time on their hands ..

jhantu said...

U missed the next step:

The orkut guy: Thnks fr addng me as fraand, can you pleese "cum" on yahoo with me.

(i kid u not on the cum thing)

Anonymous said...

hehe !! orkutting whole day lands into Blog - full of crap...good one..Happy friendship day to u too :) ....... Bini

Anonymous said...

Mast Investigation hain bhai ... Tumhe to hum RAW mein hone chahiye. Wahi tumhare talent ki asli kadar hogi. Happy Friendship Day.

Keshi said...

Interesting...

Happy Friendship day to ya too!

Keshi.

AlterinG Abhishek said...

Oh gawd..
ya buddy i have seen these funnie people..
oh so sad..
and this is not just the women being targetted..

I have some Un-known women also just trying to barge in!!

(Hey howz u buddy.. seeing your blog aftere a long time....nice pics on the whiteboard..actually not nice.. some of them are amazing..
that sarkar one...)

SugarBitz n MilkyBar said...

Hi...

Was really LOL while reading some of those weird messages. Hve gotten a few such messages myslf and it always makes me want to mess with their mind a little just for the heck of it ;) Great post!

Has to be me said...

Hi there...Firstly thanks for visiting my blog & hope 2 c ya more often.
This post was funny esp the girl in male body! :)

Keshi said...

**u look gorgeous wanna be my friend?

lol wuts with that?

Keshi.

Dh@v@! said...

@ Manik
Are thnaku thanku… after all laughter is the best medicine…

@ starry
Thnx starry

@Anuradha
Yar aise investigation mai to maza hi aata hai na… yar infy mai sare proxy block nahi huyi… I m using cooltunnel.. try out that…

@ Piyush
Bas sirji aapko maza aaye to hum bhi khushh…

Dh@v@! said...

@ Vidya
Yeah true… even I have heard it from many of my female friends…
Ne ways. Thnx for spending ur time on my crap…

@ Denish said...
Ha bhai… woh to hai… orkut to ab meri rag rag mai bas gaya hai… :):)
After all it’s a product of Google ;)

@ Nabeel
“now is this a pick up line or a cry for help?” I couldn’t decide!!!!

“guys just have too much time on their hands” or some how they manage it ;)

@ jhantu
“U missed the next step: The orkut guy: Thnks fr addng me as fraand, can you pleese "cum" on yahoo with me.” It was intentional dude…
But I really can’t imaging “Cum” on yahoo with me… hows that possible….!!!!

Dh@v@! said...

@ Bini
“hehe !! orkutting whole day lands into Blog - full of crap”
U got it buddy.. :$:$:$:$:

@ Dinesh
Apni aur se thank you hai bhai.
“Tumhe to hum RAW mein hone chahiye. Wahi tumhare talent ki asli kadar hogi.”
Ye RAW bole to “Ready and Willing” or “Research and Analysis Wing”

@ Keshi
Thnx buddy…

@ Shakhi
Thnx shakhi… hope to c ya more often…

Dh@v@! said...

@ Alter Abhishek
“and this is not just the women being targetted..
I have some Un-known women also just trying to barge in!!” I couldn’t find it… I was trying to search such scraps but I was disappointed…

@ Fresh Ink
Thanks buddy…

@ Has to be me
Sure buddy... I like ur blog. Has to be you right???

@ vani
“ab batao kitni ladkiyon ki scrap book padi thi reserch ke liye ;-) ????”
hmmm count to nahi kiya but yeah… achhi khasi fight karni padi… waise u know wht mai jab bhi aisa message dekhta tha na apni koi friend ke scrap book mai to ek file mai copy kar leta tha… so that ways kuchh khas fight nahi huyi… but yeah its fun reading such scraps right??

@ Keshi
LOL

PNA said...

on orkut and this is what you get even if the pic is of calvin or hobbes or a clock or a tree ....

:)
Ash

Strictly for my friends said...

He he he he he!!!

That was just too funny!!

Your snaps of whiteboard were great too...especially the little comments under each.

Anonymous said...

excellent writing buddy. very clever and humurous description..
keep it up.

SCRIBBLEZ TO WAKEUP said...

Hey...Me in orkut too and thankfully Ihavent got such messages...I guess my orkut consists of only my scholl mates and people I know...I seriously am not interested in making a whole bunch of new strange friends ....The desperados are well captured by the journalist dh@v@!...Good going boy..Acha time pass hai, considering u were so busy ;)

faith said...

*smiles*

Dh@v@! said...

@ Ash
Yeah Ash… pic can be deceptive ;)
Thnx for reading my crap


@ Strictly for my friends
Thnx buddy…

@ Tushar Thakker
Thnx Tushar

Dh@v@! said...

@ SCRIBBLEZ
U r lucky Scribblez for not getting such messages… n buddy it didn’t take much time for post cuz I keep on adding such messages to my collection…

@ faith
*Thnx*
*:)*

abhas1 said...

hoohaa..CREATE a friend...seems interesting :P

Aparajita Paul said...

kewl post...had a gr8 laf!

Anu Sharma said...

im wondering how cud i forget ur blog in last days , amazing man ! it was 2 hilarious...ladkiyon ke naam a,b,c,d...mera naam a hai ab ..lolz..sach mai ye male society kitni desperate hoti hai even i 2 get sth near to half dozen frnd request, n d first mouse movement is to click on no button until i no him/her by ny chance ...wotever khoob ghano post che (post was superb!)...

Dh@v@! said...

@ Abhas
Yeah… and believe me there are many more interesting messages…
Its fun to scan scrap books….

@.:Infektia:.
Thnx

@ anu
Hanji ye to aapka ishtyle hoga… bade log badi baate…
So A… you are also getting such scraps… that’s good…
~~~khoob ghano post che (post was superb!)... ~~~ Dhanyawad :) :)

SeePearrl said...

vah kya baat hain! itne saaare freind requests ? :P

EYE said...

nice post:) though orkut is a nice way to keep in touch with friends old and new. some of the msgs are really crap

Anonymous said...

bas ek baat.....bahut orkuting karte ho guru?:p

Anu...U Chill... said...

Hi it was very nice...

Anu...U Chill... said...

Hi.. that was a good one...

Akanksha Yadav said...

Oh My God! Ur posts are simply fabulous. The narration is so good, great comic timing, I just cant keep from giggling continuously till the very moment u mark a '.'

Great job Dhaval.
Cheers to u:)

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